


Model Citizens

by drainbamage954 (cats_cradle6766)



Series: Models and Music [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Models and Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-30
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2018-03-01 03:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2758475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cats_cradle6766/pseuds/drainbamage954
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim Jongin knew he wanted to be an entertainer, in the spotlight, and shining from the age of five. But joining EXO M and becoming a model to work towards that dream throws more at him than he's prepared for.  Second story in the Models and Music Series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Second Story in the Models and Music Series. Written 8/2012

When Kim Jongin was five he knew what he wanted to be. It wasn’t some sort of dramatic realization which required screaming _"Eureka!"_ and leaping from your bathtub to run about the streets naked. No, it was more of a subtle clicking in his mind where he just knew that he wanted to be an entertainer. Be in the public light, on stage, loved, and have adoring eyes turned onto him.

He had taken dance lessons when he was seven, tried singing and piano and theater and musicals and, at one point, martial arts. He had been preparing for one of the biggest auditions in his life in his third year of high school to join one of the largest entertainment companies in the country, before disaster had stuck. 

Jongin was woken up in the middle of the night by the yells of his sisters and mother, banging and feet running filling the house around him as lights clicked on. At 6:45 that morning, his father had been pronounced dead from a heart attack and, after a week, he had left school after classes and begun job hunting. 

Luckily, a start up record company was looking for new workers and Jongin was hired almost immediately by an overly happy man with a deep voice he quickly came to know as Park Chanyeol. He loved Planet Records, working there almost full time once he finished high school, but it wasn’t really his dream. He loved music, and loved working with it at the company, but it wasn’t his life in front of cameras like he wanted. 

Which was why, after getting off his cell phone with Yunho of EXO M modeling agency, he basically throws himself at Baekhyun and Sehun, almost writhing in happiness. 

“Whoa, calm down there, kiddo,” Baekhyun says, pushing the beaming younger boy off of him as he tries to reorganize a pile of blankets. “What are you so excited about now? Because the last time you were this enthusiastic it was because Kyungoo got you tickets to SM TOWN for your birthday.”

Jongin takes a few short breaths before practically exploding, “I got into EXO M!” 

Baekhyun stares at him, jaw slack for a second before Sehun is practically leaping on him, face wide in a grin. “Wow! Congratulations Jongin! That’s amazing! I knew you'd get in, what with how hard you worked and, I mean, look at you, why wouldn’t they hire you?”

“Stop, you’ll make him derp,” Baekhyun says, smiling widely himself as he pulls Sehun off of Jongin. “Jongin, that’s fantastic! I know how much you wanted the job! And this means you can finally take a step towards your dreams!” 

Jongin feels like his chest is exploding. “I know! Baekhyunnie, I’m finally going somewhere!”

Baekhyun just smiles at him as Sehun looks around happily and makes clutching motions with his hands. 

The first day of work, however, is much more intimidating than Jongin had really prepared himself for. Though he’s just part time, it feels like he’s being taken through all of the ropes for things he’s no where near familiar with. Entering the office and asking a secretary where to go, he is directed towards one of the rooms on the 3rd floor. Walking in, feeling awkward and small, he’s met with a gummy smile and man who introduces himself as ‘Eunhyuk.’

“Actually, my real name is Hyukjae, but pretty much all of us have different names here,” Eunhyuk explains, gesturing around the room where a few other boys are sitting and chatting. One in the corner is entertaining a small group by puffing his cheeks out like a blowfish. “For example, that one who never stops smiling is actually Jongdae, but everyone knows him as ‘Chen,’ or ‘Chen Chen’ according to Dragon, but only Dragon calls him that.”

“Dragon?” Jongin asks, feeling confused. 

Eunhyuk grins that gummy smile at him. “Our CEO,” he says easily, before pausing and adding. “If you see him, don't talk to him. Either run or make yourself invisible.” Jongin swallows. “C’mon! Let’s meet people and get you your own crazy name.”

Eunhyuk, as it turns out, is actually quite a bit older than him. About eight years older as a matter of fact. Eunhyuk just laughs when Jongin sputters like an idiot when he finds out in the elevator ride up through the levels of the building. “Honestly, don’t freak over it,” Eunhyuk says. “We’re all family here, and ranking is based on your performance, not your age. Changmin is younger than me but higher in rank because he’s a better model. That’s what matters here, your work.”

Jongin just swallows again, nodding to show he at least comprehends. 

They tour through the levels of the complex, Eunhyuk explaining things briefly and waving at pretty much everyone before leading Jongin back down to the room they started in. “And here is where I leave you, kiddo,” the older says, smiling and ruffling Jongin’s hair slightly. 

“What?” Jongin says, mind reeling from the information Eunhyuk’s basically been vomiting at him far too quickly. “What do you mean leave me? Aren’t you-“

Eunhyuk cuts him off with a laugh. “Your mentor? No way, they’d never trust me with stuff like that,” Eunhyuk says, grinning. “I just show new people around. Apparently I’m friendly. No, Lay is looking after you this week.” He gestures over to another man, who has since arrived in the time that Jongin has been led around the company. 

Lay is lean and something in his posture screams elegance. His face is long and extremely beautiful, eyebrows barely curving over eyes that seem not to truly focus as they look up at Jongin. He’s not towering tall, like Changmin had been when Jongin had met the other man, but he is in no way short. Instead, his limbs are well proportioned and compliment his frame. 

Jongin realizes he’s staring. “Hi,” he manages, feeling himself smile awkwardly and bows a little too fast and low. “I’m Kim Jongin.”

“I know,” Lay says, his mouth turning up and the faint whisper of a dent appears in his right cheek. Jongin wants to poke it. “So, ready to get a more detailed explanation of this place and meet people?”

“I-“ 

“Good,” Lay says, cutting him off and actually smiling, and the dent turns into a dimple and Jongin stares at it. “We’ll start from the top and work our way down.”

“You’re taking him to Dragon?” Eunhyuk says, eyebrows raised and Lay gives him an amused look.

“Do I want him dead?” Lay responds and grabs Jongin lightly by the shoulder. “C’mon, we’re going to meet Luhan.”

As the door closes behind them, Jongin can hear one of the other boy ask “so that's the guy they hired to replace Chullie?” before it clicks shut. He looks at Lay, who just smiles. 

“C’mon, not everyone is as scary as Eunhyuk makes them out to be,” Lay tells him and steers him in the direction of the elevator. 

“Why does everyone call the CEO Dragon?” Jongin asks, stepping into the metal box along with Lay as the other punches for the top floor. 

Lay looks over to him as the doors slide shut. “Because Kris has this thing with his face where he looks like he’s a scary Dragon,” Lay say simply. “But he’s really not that bad. He’s just basically married to his work and takes life a little too seriously. Don’t take everything Eunhyuk says to heart. He likes to kid around a lot.” He laughs slightly, and it’s a pleasant sound. “We all kid around a lot, actually. Except Chen, but that’s because I’m pretty sure he’s actually a celestial being.” At Jongin’s perplexed look he smiles. “Kidding.”

The elevator dings and Lay drags his hands from his pockets, striding from the elevator, Jongin trailing behind him and feeling slightly less awkward. “Luhan! Meet our new baby!”

Luhan is, in short, beautiful. Each of his features perfectly compliments the others and his eyes sparkle with a cheerful light as they settle on Jongin. Even his voice is pretty as it floats from his mouth. “Ah, Kim Jongin, nice to see you! Yunho kept telling me you were a good find after he interviewed you. I’m glad to see he hasn’t lost his touch.”

Jongin can’t think of anything to do so he just smiles and bows, muttering his thanks. He can feel Lay standing beside him. 

“I’m Luhan,” Luhan continues, coming around to stand in front of Jongin with an easy stance. “I basically keep Kris running, which keeps this company running.” He gestures elegantly towards the CEO’s office down the hall. “You’ll see me more than him though, considering I actually try to talk to people. I look forward to seeing what you can do with us.”

Something about the way he talks makes Jongin realize that, though Luhan is beautiful and charming, he’s also very invested in this company and wont really accept failures easily. He’s reminded briefly of Kyungsoo and how the man shifts from when they’re joking at home to being chief secretary at Planet Records. 

“Where are you taking him next?” Luhan asks, turning to Lay. 

“Tao, where else?” Lay says, smiling at the slightly shorter man. 

“Are you trying to scar him?” Luhan asks, looking skeptical and Jongin feels like he’s missing something very important. 

Lay laughs. “Oh come on, Tao’s not that bad.” He pauses and seems to think for a minute. “Well, okay, sometimes he’s that bad.”

“Are you forgetting the last argument Heechul and he had over fabrics and hiplines?”

“Oh yeah!” Lay says, looking suddenly pleased. “That was hysterical!”

“Tao nearly threw a table at Heechul,” Luhan says, face dropping slightly. 

“Like I said, hysterical,” Lay says, still grinning. “C’mon, he’s harmless once you get past the serial killer expression and intense moments of bipolar tantrums.”

Jongin is looking between the two of them with a rising sense of anxiety. Suddenly, he’s not so sure if his dreams of being a famous entertainer are worth having tables thrown at him by a bipolar... whatever Tao is.

But then Lay is turning to him. “Don’t fret, Tao is harmless,” he says, sliding a hand to Jongin’s shoulder once more and steering him towards the elevator. As the doors close behind them and Luhan’s curious face is cut from sight, Jongin turns to Lay. 

“Who is Tao?” Jongin asks. 

“Ah, I forgot Eunhyuk hates to talk about Tao,” Lay says, looking up at the ceiling briefly. “Or go near him unless it’s for work.” He turns to Jongin. “He’s the main designer for the company. He’s the one who makes us all look… well, like models and also owns his own line of clothing and accessories. Kris found him on a trip back to China. They have kind of a love hate relationship with lots of tolerance.”

Jongin just swallows as the doors to the elevator open and Lay leads him down the hall towards a huge room with large glass windows. He can hear someone yelling from inside and Lay sighs beside him. “Oh, here we go,” he breathes before pushing Jongin inside by the small of his back. 

Tao, upon first look, is godddamn terrifying. His face, small lips pressed in a line and hair relatively wild and mussed, looks up at them with dark rimmed eyes from a pile of black cloth and metal, wielding an iron and pair of scissors. _“What?!”_ he yells from whatever it is he’s doing and looks at Lay with such intensity it’s a miracle Lay hasn’t spontaneously combusted. 

“Look! I brought the new male model!” Lay says, smiling widely and making an exaggerated _tada~!_ gesture at Jongin, who kinda just wants to run away and hide. 

Tao’s eyes, dark shadows and eyeliner under them accenting just how much of a black and white contrast he is, slide over to Jongin. Tao, swathed in black clothing himself, looks like a horrible and incredibly well dressed mix between a serial killer and ninja. As they land on Jongin, those intense eyes widen almost impossibly and, with grace Jongin didn’t know possible, the dark man is untangling himself from masses of fabric and wires and various objects and gliding over to him. 

Jongin barely has time to protest before Tao’s fingers are on his face, jerking his head this way and that, sharp eyes scrutinizing and looking at details he doesn’t know existed. Then those hands are moving, traveling over his body and Jongin wants to squirm away. He shoots a brief look at Lay. Lay shakes his head ever so slightly as if to say _'don’t or you may die’_ and Jongin stays put. 

After a moment or two, Tao straightens up, takes a step back, crosses his arms and raises a hand to his mouth, thumb sliding between his teeth as his eyes narrow in consideration. His eyes slowly rake up from Jongin’s chest to settle on his face. He bites his thumb once, twice, and then grins. 

It has to be the most terrifying thing Jongin has ever seen in his entire life. “I like him,” Tao says and his dark eyes glint. “I want him in my next show. Center model with heavy eyes and accented cheek lines. And make sure he wears lower collar shirts from now on. Those collar bones could cut glass and people should know that if we’re going to promote him. New blood needs to rise fast in ranks or it molds.”

Jongin doesn’t know what to do, so he just stands and tries to breathe like a normal person. Lay, however, smiles from beside him and wraps a warm arm around his shoulders. Jongin feels himself relax slightly under the touch while Tao’s eyes follow them sharply. 

“I’ll let Yunho know,” Lay says, smiling and flashing his teeth at Tao. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear you’re so satisfied with Jongin as a new specimen.”

“Kai,” Tao says, his voice sharp. 

“Sorry, Kai,” Lay says, still smiling. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear you’re so satisfied with Kai.”

“Good, now disappear,” Tao says, and spins on his heel, waving a hand in a strange sort of fluttery motion as he returns to the mess of fabric and other things. Jongin feels slightly dazed but doesn’t hesitate when Lay steers him firmly from the room and back to the elevator. 

As the door closes, Lay squeezes his shoulder and says gently “breathe” and suddenly Jongin is gulping for air. 

“Oh my god, who is that?”

“I’m actually impressed,” Lay says, smiling, his dimple winking at Jongin. “You did really well. The last model who met Tao for the first time started crying as soon as Tao looked at him.”

“Does he always look like he’s about to commit homicide?” Jongin asks, and Lay laughs.

“No,” Lay says between chuckles. “He just likes to keep people guessing, keep up the drama. It’s fun for him. And it drives Kris nuts, and Tao derives no higher pleasure than making Kris extremely irritated. Sadistic pleasure. He seems to like you though.” He briefly looks Jongin up and down, as if sizing up where Tao’s hands had run. “It’s not many models that he gives personal names.”

“Names?” Jongin repeats, frowning.

“You’re Kai from now on, if anyone asks,” Lay says, tone gentle and soft. 

“Kai,” Jongin says, testing the name on his tongue.

Lay grins beside him, wrapping his arm around Jongin’s shoulders again. “I like it,” he says, looking at Jongin’s face intently. “It suits you. Has a sort of sexy ring to it.”

And as he smiles at him again, Jongin has the inexplicable urge to lean forward and press his mouth against that dimple as it winks at him.

~

Jongin’s first week is spent basically attempting to understand how the company works, what his job requires, and getting to know the other people in the company. After a few days, it becomes very apparent that he and Eunhyuk are going to be friends, especially since Eunhyuk seems to be friends with everyone. He also finds himself getting to know the quieter but incredibly personable man named Jongdae who pretty much everyone calls ‘Chen’.

As his first week draws to a close, Jongin is exhausted from a morning battling song tracks with Chanyeol and Sehun followed by grueling practices of stance, form and techniques via Changmin and lying on the floor of the model room, eyes closed, frowning as Eunhyuk prods him in the side with a foot.

“Get up,” Eunhyuk whines, finally collapsing onto the floor next to him and shoving him petulantly. “Kai, get up, get up, get up.”

“Why?” Jongin moans, trying to roll away from Eunhyuk’s assault. “Can’t I just lie here and become one with the floor? I like that idea.”

“Because we’re taking you out,” Chen says, dropping down on Jongin’s other side and lying down, wrapping himself around the younger boy and making Jongin squirm. “You survived your first week, didn’t cry once, and Changmin is buying!” Chen says happily as Jongin gives up and allows the other men to basically man handle him. 

Dragging his arm from over his eyes, he gives the other two a look. “Is it always going to be like this?” he asks, and smiles despite himself. 

“Pretty much,” Eunhyuk says, smiling his gummy smile and sitting back as he watches Chen practically roll on top of Jongin. “C’mon Kai, when was the last time we treated you to a night out.”

“I’m new,” Jongin says, frowning slightly. “You’ve never treated me to a night out.”

“Well, heavens! It's about time we did!” Changmin says loudly, walking into the room and dropping gracefully into a large chair. “It’s basically a right of passage to survive a night with this group, so don’t even try to protest, Kai.”

Jongin grins, not really wanting to protest to the idea of a night out with this group he has come to know surprisingly well for only being around them for a week. “Do you guys have a usual place you go?”

“There’s an awesome club downtown that we frequent pretty often,” Chen says, rolling off of Jongin and sitting up. “Maybe you’ve heard of it.” He passes a look between Eunhyuk and Changmin, who are smirking. “Do you know 'EPIK HIGH'?”

Jongin sits up and looks at Chen, eyes slightly wide. “You mean the club that basically costs a fortune to get into but is known for being one of the best clubs in the city? That EPIK HIGH?” 

Changmin is gloating from his chair. “Yeah, that one,” he says, voice level in delivery. “Heechul was buds with the guys who run it, so we know them all pretty well. We usually get in for free, so it’s basically our hangout.”

“Who is Heechul, exactly?” Jongin asks. The whole week people had been throwing the name out and he still had no firm idea as to who this person was.

“You know how Tao is?” Changmin says, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Jongin nods. “Imagine Tao and I had a baby who laughed like Eunhyuk’s face looks.”

“Hey!” Eunhyuk half yells in indignation as Jongin bursts out laughing. 

“I think I may be better off not actually knowing him,” Jongin says, grinning. 

“Probably,” Changmin says and he fights off Eunhyuk, who is basically attempting to beat him over the head. “So go get… prettier. We’ll grab dinner and head over to EPIK HIGH in about 20.”

In the end, pretty much everyone Jongin has met this week, with the exception of Tao, Luhan, and Yunho, end up going out with them to EPIK HIGH. Dinner is a rowdy affair in which no one eats as much as Changmin and Jongin is goaded into doing one shots with Xiumin while Eunhyuk cheers them on. By the time they make it to EPIK HIGH, Jongin is smiling and relaxed and looking around happily at his fellows. The club is loud and slightly too hot but is also one of the best Jongin has ever been to. He gets dragged onto the dance floor with Eunhyuk and Xiumin after barely fifteen minutes of arrival and learns that these two, aside from being skilled models, are also ridiculously good dancers. 

Jongin is feeling slightly uncomfortable, not wanting to truly join in with the others, being so much younger than they, and thus jumps when he feels a hand rest on his shoulder and a voice sound right next to his ear. “They won’t judge you if don’t dance perfectly. They just like showing off.”

Jongin turns and is met with the smiling face of Lay. He grins back and shifts away slightly, putting a little more distance between himself and the other. “So I’ve noticed,” he says, and his eyes drift to Lay’s dimple. 

“Don’t you dance?” Lay asks, leaning in slightly to be heard over the loud rumble of the speakers. His eyes sweep over Jongin’s frame. “You look like you would be a dancer. You’ve got the figure for it.”

“I dance a little,” Jongin says, flashing a smile at Lay and feeling slightly nervous at the admission. “You?”

Lay just grins. “I used to dance before I started working here. Now it’s just for fun.” He looks over Jongin again before grinning widely. “C’mon, I’ll show you my dance if you show me yours.”

Eunhyuk and Xiumin seem to be in their own world, dancing with each other with intense but excited looks on their faces as they watch the others movements. Jongin glances at them briefly before looking back at Lay, flashing a grin as he takes in the sound around him before moving, his limbs sliding and flowing with the rhythms and pounding melodies that shake the floor. It’s easy, he remembers, to get lost in the sounds of music and just move. 

Jongin’s eyes stop watching anything as his mind clears, centering on the movement of his body with the music and he feels the thrill of it race through his body. This presence, this feeling, is what he becomes. With his friends, outside of watching eyes, he is shy, slightly foolish, and thinks too much. But here, amid the thrill of performance, he lets go and simply is. Confidence, power, and energy flowing from him and through him. 

This is why, at the age of five, he knew what he wanted to be. 

Jongin glances up and sees Lay watching him, a smile on his mouth as his eyes follow his movements. Jongin grins, enjoying the attention as he jerks in time. Then, with a final flourish, he turns and gestures the dance over to Lay, expecting the other man to grin and clap, nod or widen his eyes at him. Do basically the same thing every other person does after witnessing him.

Lay, however, seems to move automatically, his body propelled into motion along with the music, arms, legs, and self suddenly riding the waves of sound as it beats against the walls and the inside of Jongin’s skull and Jongin pauses for a moment. 

Lay is beautiful as he dances, all intensity and energy and dedication in his gestures, his jerks and thrusts and Jongin briefly wonders if he could ever this breathtaking when he moves. He said he could dance, did just dance, but it’s nothing in comparison to how Lay doesn’t move with sound but basically becomes it. 

Lay looks up at him and grins, his eyes glinting and dimple winking, before he spins in a flurry of movement. Jongin fights to swallow against a suddenly dry mouth as his stomach burns.

-

“Tao wants to see you,” Kyuhyun says, wandering in on Wednesday and popping the lid on a canned coffee.

“What? Who?” Jongin asks, looking up from where he’s been perusing style magazines with Chen. 

“You, magnae,” Kyuhyun says, taking a long drink from the coffee. “You’re being examined.”

“I thought I already was examined,” Jongin says, swallowing as he watches Kyuhyun’s bored posture. 

“Having Tao look at you and poke you a few times is not an examination,” Kyuhyun says. “Plus, for some reason, Serial Killer wants to feature you in the next show, so you need to be properly evaluated.”

“Don’t get that tone,” Xiumin says from where he’d been supposedly napping in the corner. The smaller man had been working hard all morning on an avant-garde shoot and was exhausted from being told to climb buildings and look sexy while doing so. “Just because Tao doesn’t want to feature you again, don’t be pissy.”

“I’m not pissy, Bun face,” Kyuhyun says, glowering over his canned coffee. 

“Yes, you are,” Chen says, not looking up as he turns a magazine page. “And Kai, you might want to go. Tao doesn’t like waiting.”

Jongin didn’t wait to hear why, instead getting up and swiftly making his way to the elevator. Leaving the model lounge, he nearly walked into Lay and Luhan, who were passing on their way upstairs. Lay raises his eyebrows as Luhan turns cutely widening eyes on him. “Where are you off to, Kai?” Luhan asks as Jongin fumbles at the elevator buttons.

“Tao wants to see me,” Jongin says, smiling nervously at the head secretary, who forms a small ‘o’ with his mouth and nods slowly. 

“What for?” Lay asks, leaning around Luhan slightly and looking at Jongin curiously. 

“Apparently he wants to evaluate me or something,” Jongin says, looking at the small monitors detailing the floors they travel up. Five. Six. Seven. “Make sure I’m still attractive.”

Luhan hums. “That’s right, Tao mentioned he wanted to feature you in the next show.”

Lay’s eyebrows raise. “Does he really?”

Luhan gives him an exasperated look. “He told me yesterday. While you were in the room. Talking with us.” Lay gives him a ridiculous smile and Jongin tries to hide his own smile into the wall of the elevator. 

“Woops,” Lay says, still grinning and Luhan snorts at him. 

The elevator dings and Jongin swallows, seeing the number settled happily at fifteen as the doors open. “Well, this is you,” Luhan says, flashing a smile at Jongin. 

Jongin hesitates for a second before smiling, and nervously making his way out of the elevator. A large part of him wants to ask Luhan and Lay to come with him. Because that same large part of him also feels like he’s walking to the gallows. 

Tentatively, he pushes open the door to Tao’s studio and pokes his head in side. Tao is apparently waiting for him, seeing as the dark man is literally right next to the door, arms folded over his chest and Jongin nearly jumps out of his skin. 

“Did you get lost?” Tao asks, his soft voice seeming to muffle the syllables as he speaks. 

“Um, n-no,” Jongin says, scooting inside quickly and standing a few feet from Tao, who is looking him over with intense and unreadable eyes. “I just ran into Luhan and Lay on the way up.”

“I doubt they appreciate that,” Tao says, still as stone as he looks at Jongin. “I know I never like having people run into me. Physical contact of the running style is never particularly appreciated.”

Jongin blinks. “I dunno, rugby players seem to be okay with it,” he says before he can stop himself and immediately wants to push all of his words back into his mouth. He doesn’t particularly fancy being skinned alive.

Tao, surprisingly, smiles. “You know, most people can barely answer me without stuttering,” he says, arms uncrossing. “Let alone make coherent sentences. A full comeback is a rare thing.” He smiles, and Jongin notices it doesn’t have the same terrifying glint as when he first met the other man. “I knew I liked you for more than your mouth watering bone structure.”

Jongin shifts his weight, oddly wanting to cover himself up. 

“Now, come here,” Tao says and, turning and walking swiftly towards the back of the studio, gestures for Jongin to follow him. Jongin pauses a moment before doing exactly that. Tao leads him to a small area, uncluttered with designer materials and drawings and fabrics. Instead, it’s two chic black chairs and a small black lacquered table with what looks like tea set out. 

“We’re having tea?” Jongin says, eyebrows raising as he looks at the beverages. “I thought you were going to evaluate me.”

“I am evaluating you,” Tao says, voice unreadable as he looks at Jongin steadily. “Sit.”

Jongin sits. Tao sits down opposite him with grace. 

“Why do you want to be a model?” Tao asks, sitting straight and all angles as he looks at Jongin. 

Jongin blinks and looks at him. “Uuh,” he starts and feels horribly scrutinized. 

“No,” Tao says. “I don’t want the answer you gave Yunho. I want the real reason. There is one, and I want to know it. You’re not here to make this your life career, that much is evident in the way you hold your shoulders. So why are you here?”

Jongin stares, baffled that this man can read him so easily just by how his shoulders are. “I’m killing two birds with one stone,” he says, finding the answer coming out easier than he thought. “I want to be an entertainer. Idol or something. I want to perform. This gives me experience and knowledge on that. And my mother is ill.”

“So, money and practice for when you become a superstar,” Tao says, barely moving. “You’re a little too self conscious to be a real model, so I figured it was a different overall goal.” He pauses and licks his lips. “What wrong with your mother?”

Jongin feels his throat close up slightly. “She’s sick,” he says, preferring not to give details on his mother’s current battle for life. The only people who really know about his mother’s conditions are his family, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, and Suho. 

Tao nods and reaches towards the tea closest to Jongin. Jongin takes it without question and Tao takes his own, bringing the hot cup to rest gently in his hands. “I haven’t seen my family since I moved here four years ago,” Tao tells him, looking at the tea in his hands. “We don’t talk much these days. I’m busy with work and they’re busy avoiding my sexuality and profession. So I make my family here. This, these people here, are my kin.” He looks up at Jongin. “Do you understand, Kai?”

Jongin wants to say ‘no’ but feels that would be incredibly offensive and, from what he’s heard, Tao is extremely volatile. Instead he murmurs into his cup, “Not entirely, but I can try.”

Tao smiles at him before standing up sharply. “C’mon, get naked. I need to survey you.”

Jongin nearly drops the cup of tea. “I’m sorry!” he says fumbling with the tea cup awkwardly before placing on the table quickly. “Get-“

“To your underwear is fine,” Tao says, waving a hand as he walks over into his work area. “I want to see if I’m right about your shoulders and hipline. Plus who doesn’t like naked people.” He turns and takes in Jongin’s reddening cheeks and awkward fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He grins and it doesn’t feel as threatening as before. “I promise I wont sew anything into your skin.”

Jongin knows somehow that Tao is joking. Despite his serial killer expression and facial composure. Without hesitation, he grips the bottom of his shirt and pulls it over his head in one swift motion, dropping it to the floor before swiftly tugging off his pants and toeing them to the side. He looks up at Tao, now almost entirely bare to see the other man smiling at him. 

“You adapt nicely,” Tao says, picking up a few things from his work bench before striding over to Jongin. “It usually takes a few weeks before we get models to strip so quickly for me when I ask.”

“I value my life,” Jongin says as Tao presses firmly with his fingers, guiding him to turn this way and that as he looks him over. “I’ve been told you might try to kill me.”

Tao smirks. “Never kill,” he says. “I don’t kill my children. That would be highly unproductive. I just enjoy playing with people.”

Jongin can’t help himself. “What else do you enjoy?” 

Tao looks up at him, eyes slightly startled and Jongin sees a flash of emotion, too quick for him to understand. “Shopping,” Tao says. “And taking long walks by myself.” He turns Jongin around to face him fully again before stepping back. “Okay, here’s the details. In the next show, you’re center model. We need to get you out and seen. You’re going to be in my newest designs and the concept is avian travel in urban environments. So I need you graceful. Use your dance knowledge. And yes, I know you have it because I watch the way you move and only you and Lay move like that.” He gives Jongin a knowing look before plowing on.

“I know Changmin is the one currently mentoring you on techniques and runways but I am reassigning you to Kyuhyun. He’s more familiar with the drama I need to see from you in this show. And the darkness. Changmin is too concise with his form and I need someone who is basically an asshole to teach you how to do it properly. You’ll be in here when you’re not working with him because I’ll need fittings for my main piece and-“

“Tao, I need to-“

“ _I am working right now!_ ” Tao suddenly yells, turning sharply towards the door and his tone is downright terrifying. Jongin nearly stumbles back a few feet, head whipping to the door he hadn’t even noticed opening. An extremely tall man is standing there with well styled dyed blond hair and facial features that could cut rock. He knows without having to ask this is his CEO. _“What is so important you had to come in and destroy my creative genius, Yi Fan??_ "

Tao is suddenly huffing and agitated and his eyes are just a bit too wild and Jongin wonders just where the hell the previously composed man of before has gone. The CEO, Kris Wu, frowns intensely at the huffing designer. “I need to know the details on what you are planning for the show next month. I need to release-“

“I told you, I don’t have the details completely finished yet,” Tao snaps, walking around a work bench towards Kris and snatching up a giant swath of gray cloth. “These things take time! I’ll have the details to you by Friday, happy Dragon face?” He walks directly up to Kris and drapes the fabric over the taller man’s head like a hood, swinging the fabric around with a few frantic movements until Kris is practically swaddled in it. 

Kris breathes through his nose. Hard. “Do you at least know the models you want to use?” he asks, closing his eyes briefly. 

Tao scoffs. “Of course I do,” he says folding one arm over his chest as he gestures with the other. “I want Lay, Chen, Eunhyuk, Changmin, and Kai.”

“Kai?” Kris says, opening his eyes and looking up, finally seeing Jongin in the room. 

“Yes,” Tao says, cocking an eyebrow. “I want him center. His hipbones are amazing and I want them. So, Kai.”

Kris looks like he wants to say something but instead just looks back at Tao, pursing his lips as he hastily claws off the fabric draped around his shoulders. “Get me the details by Friday or I’m taking away your Gucci collection,” he says, giving Tao a meaningful look. 

Tao adopts a widely grinning face as he leans in, grabbing Kris’s arm and pressing against the taller man. “Don’t be silly,” he chips and Kris’s face crumbles slightly. “You remember what happened last time you did that, right?” And with a playful wink and smile, he pushes himself away from the CEO and flounces back over to Jongin, grinning manically. “Now go away. I’m working.”

Kris looks like he’s not sure if he’s just been obeyed or swindled before he scowls and leaves swiftly, back straight with authority. 

Jongin stares at Tao as the other man returns to in front of him, eyes somewhere around Jongin’s ribcage as his mouth remains in a smile. Tao glances up at him and grins wider. “Someone has to keep that man on his toes,” is all he says before snatching up a measuring tape and checking places Jongin didn’t even know he had.

-


	2. Chapter 2

Kyuhyun, Jongin finds out, is a dick. He’s arrogant, self obsessed, and extremely condescending. He’s also a genius who does nothing but sarcastically quip at those around him and is walking smoke and charcoal on the runway. 

Jongin also sincerely enjoys him and, before they know it, they’re snarking at each other incessantly and Eunhyuk is whining about sassy assholes while Chen smiles in amusement and Changmin grins like a proud parent. 

Jongin also learns that Tao is basically a time bomb around deadlines and takes his work much more seriously than some of the employees think he does. He’d spent most of the weeks before the exhibit fixing designs and fabrics and sizes with Jongin while poking about, trying to find out about Jongin while Jongin silently discovers more about Tao than he feels he should know. 

As Monday of the exhibition week rolls around, Jongin walks in for his afternoon at EXO M and is met with chaos. Apparently this is normal on an exhibit week. Tao is alternatively giving him pep talks about the show (and himself by consequence) and having small mental breakdowns over the state of his designs. Chen ends up being the one to intervene most of the time and drag Jongin away while gently smiling and attempting to calm the designer down. 

Kyuhyun has been grilling him on technique as Chen and Lay observe and give pointers. 

On Tuesday, two days before the show, Jongin is with Kyuhyun and the other two, trying to get expressions correct and follow whatever the hell Kyuhyun is doing with his evil face. He tries to copy it and once again fails as Kyuhyun yells “No!” and, frustrated, kicks him slightly in the posterior, making the younger stumble slightly.

“Abuse!” Chen calls from where he’s sitting on the floor with Lay. Lay is lounging and watching with steady eyes. “Careful, Kyu, or we’ll go get Changmin.”

“Changmin would kick him too,” Kyuhyun says, frowning as his hands come to rest on his hips. “How do we make him a tortured bird?” 

“I’m feeling pretty tortured right now,” Jongin says, grimacing as he runs a hand over his face. He’s exhausted. “Just give me wings and I’ll be perfect.”

“Giving you wings would just give you balance problems,” Kyuhyun grumbles to himself, scuffing his feet. “Again!” he yells and Jongin sighs, returning to his start position and waking forward. He gets five steps before Kyuhyun yells “Stop!” and he groans. 

“What am I doing wrong?” Jongin whines, letting his head fall back as a groan gurgles in his throat. 

“Everything,” Kyuhyun says and Jongin rolls his head to glower faintly at him. “Just, your expression. You’re stiff. You need to feel and look tortured.

“Have you ever been in love?” Chen pipes up, getting a slightly hopeful look on his face. Kyuhyun looks at him like he’s insane and Lay turns to look at the smaller boy swiftly. Chen looks at them both. “What? It’s a valid question.” He looks back at Jongin. “Have you ever been in love?”

Jongin purses his lips, looking at Chen and images from high school, of lean arms, grinning teeth in a strong jaw and warm rough hands clapping against his back. “Yes,” he says, trying to push the memories away. Memories of an unspoken love story he wants to forget. He looks at Chen and Chen is grinning. Kyuhyun is watching him oddly and Lay… Lay’s eyes bore into him with intensity he’s never seen on the other mans face. Except when he was dancing. “Why?”

“There,” Chen says, standing up and walking over to Kyuhyun. “Work with that.”

They spend the next hour drilling expression out of Jongin, telling him to remember heartbreak and lost freedom and it’s more exhausting that the first hour was. When Kyuhyun finally claps his hands together and smiles, Jongin moans in gratitude. “Finally!”

“Harder than you thought, huh?” Lay says, coming to stand beside him as Chen starts chatting with Kyuhyun about a shoot the two had completed the previous Friday. Jongin nods in response, shaking out his shoulders slightly. “I sometimes wonder why I let Kris drag me into this business.”

Jongin looks up at Lay, eyes wide. “Kris got you into modeling?”

Lay glances over to him. “Oh, I forgot you don’t know.” He grins widely. “Yeah, I’ve actually known Kris for a long time. We’ve been good friends since… I dunno, before we both moved here? Anyway, I used to move around jobs a lot. Kept getting fired because they said my mind is sieve.”

Jongin raises an eyebrow. “It is a sieve.”

Lay smirks at him. “Harsh words. “ He hits Jongin in the arm lightly. “Anyway, Kris got tired of me losing jobs because he has a controlling complex and got me to work here. I’ve been here about a year but I basically knew everyone and the company well before that. It comes with being friends with a CEO and having Luhan as your neighbor.”

“I never knew you were Kris’s friend,” Jongin says, as he watches Kyuhyun and Chen begin to walk back to the break room. 

“Well, now you know,” Lay says and taps Jongin in the forehead. “Don’t go abusing that information.” Jongin nods to show he understands and Lay frowns slightly. “You’re really worried,” he comments, leaning closer to the younger. “About the show.”

Jongin flashes a smile at him. “You could say that,” he says, and Lay’s compassionate look makes his chest hurt. “It’s just, I’ve never really modeled before and the whole thing is pretty intimidating.”

Lay reaches an arm over his shoulder, pulling Jongin into him and squeezing, their sides pressing against each other tightly. Lay’s body is warm against Jongin’s and he tries not to think about it. “You’re a brand new model and Tao is featuring you,” Lay tells him, words ghosting over his ear and the side of his face. “You’ll be fine. Just do what I do?”

Jongin turns to him and finds that his face is mere centimeters from Lay’s. “What’s that?”

“I forget where I am and pretend I’m dancing,” Lay say and smiles and Jongin feels the press of their close hips as that dimple winks at him, taunting.

-

“Chanyeol,” Jongin ventures, sitting next to the older man as they go over music tracks and sound bites.

“Yeah, what’s up kiddo?” Chanyeol says, face far too close to the computer screen he’s working at, glasses resting on his nose. 

Jongin shifts in his chair, looking at his superior and feeling awkward. “Um,” he clears his throat. Chanyeol’s head snaps over to him and his large eyes fix on the younger curiously. “Have you ever been confused?”

Chanyeol laughs, deep and loud. “Dude, that’s like asking if I’ve ever taken a piss.”

Jongin smiles and shakes his head. “Okay, fair.” He licks his lips. “I mean, have you ever been confused about how you feel about someone?”

Chanyeol seems to think for a while, his mouth pouting slightly. “You mean like if I liked or disliked them?” Chanyeol asks, and shifts slightly in his computer chair. 

“Not quite,” Jongin says, realizing that maybe Chanyeol isn’t the best to talk to this about. “More of, you know someone but aren’t entirely sure how you feel about them and aren’t sure if you like them or…” he trails off. “Never mind, I’m probably just stressed because of the show tomorrow.”

“Emotions can be confusing,” Chanyeol says, tapping his chin with a long finger and nodding sagely. The image is ironic and Jongin tries not to laugh. “Most of the time, I don’t really understand. All I can say is that we have them for a reason, and the best thing is to just let yourself feel them. Let them guide you. Usually they’ll explain themselves in time.”

“Chanyeol, you’re such a romantic,” Jongin says, grinning widely at his boss. “Who knew under all those stupid faces you’re such a cheese ball?”

“I’m a winner,” Chanyeol says, sitting back and outright lounging in his chair. “I am the guru of awesome. Please, feel free to ask me anything and I will shower you with nuggets of superiority.”

Jongin raises his eyebrows at him. “Okay, how the hell do I do this show tomorrow without destroying Tao’s clothing line and my chances of gaining any sort of status in EXO M?” 

Chanyeol stares at him for a moment, seeming to think as he taps his fingers against the desk. “Well, I would suggest don’t think about it too much, but you already are.” He frowns. “Jongin, you’re a hard working person. You’re dedicated and you throw yourself into whatever work you’re given. Don’t think about this as just one show, but as a step, a level in a video game you have to beat to move onto the next one.”

Jongin stares at Chanyeol. Somehow, despite how ridiculous his advice is, it does kinda make sense. He sighs. “I guess y-“ The piercing ring of his cell phone cuts him off. Digging into his pocket frantically, he pulls the device out. He’s about to just switch it off when he sees the number on the screen. 

It’s his oldest sister. 

Who never calls him unless there is an emergency. 

Without even thinking for a moment, Jongin clicks the ‘accept’ button and holds the phone to his ear, feeling fear flood him. “Hello?”

“Jongin,” his sister says, her voice strained over the line. 

“Yes, what’s up?” 

There is a pause. “Mom’s just been taken into surgery again.”

Jongin’s blood runs cold and he’s sprinting out of the office without thinking, only feeling fear flooding him as he sprints from Planet Records to the hospital where his mother is lying, possibly holding onto life. Panting and sweating, he arrives at the hospital, having run from Planet Records to the hospital his mother is being held at. 

Jongin moves as fast as is allowed in a hospital to where his mother is being held, fear gripping his chest. His phone is still clutched in his hand. Turning the corner and coming face to face with his oldest sister, he almost runs into her. “Jongin!” she says, but he barely hears her. “What are-“

“Mom?!” Jongin almost yells, feeling fear suffocating his heart, trying to push past her and into the room, now closed off and with the curtain drawn. “What’s wrong with mom?!”

His sister just grabs him by the shoulders and tries to keep him from bursting into the room. “Jongin! Shut up! She’s in surgery!” There was an infection from the first surgery and while she was being checked, they found that the cancer had flared up again, she’s-“

But Jongin doesn’t hear anymore over the rushing in his ears. He’s brought back to that horrible night, where he stared in disbelief at his father as wires stuck to his body and frantic medical workers buzzed around him. He drops to his knees and stay there for a few moments, trying to control his breathing. “Will she be okay?” he manages to get out, eyes shut. 

Jongin feels his sister sit down next to him on the floor and wrap an arm around him. “She’ll be okay, I promise.” Jongin hopes she’s right. 

Taking a deep breath, he looks down at the phone in his hand and, fingers shaking slightly, presses the key pad, punching in a number before raising the phone to his ear. There’s a ringing for a moment before the line picks up.

“Be important or I’m screaming.”

“I can’t come to the show tomorrow,” Jongin says, closing his eyes as his throat closes painfully.

There is silence on the other line. “If you’re scared or something-“ Tao begins and his voice is extremely strained. 

“My mother is in the hospital and in emergency surgery,” Jongin says and tries to keep the things in his chest from hurting him too much. 

There is a pause on the other end of the line. “Okay,” is all Tao says before the line dies. Jongin lets the phone fall from his face as he lets himself curl into his sister's embrace and just breathe, waiting for something, anything, and it’s torture,

-

Luckily, a doctor approaches Jongin later (his sister had to leave for work) and informs him that his mother is going to be perfectly alright and that she was stabilizing and fine. As he walks away, Kyungsoo and Sehun arrive at the hospital. Sehun barely manages to tell Jongin that Chanyeol had told them about Jongin’s swift departure before Kyungsoo wraps Jongin in a crushing hug. Jongin presses his arms around his friend and roommate and just breathes, feeling stability only Kyungsoo can bring as Sehun hugs him around the back.

Between his two friends, Jongin allows himself to finally cry all of the fear that had been pounding in him over the past hour. 

Suho gives Jongin Friday off and tells him to take care of himself and his mother and Luhan tells him if he comes to work, Kris may kill him, so he should stay home. Jongin spends the weekend with his mother, fussing over her, despite her weak protests and gentle smiles, and when he returns to EXO M on Monday afternoon, Eunhyuk, Chen and Lay are all waiting for him in the break room. 

Chen gives him a gentle hug while Eunhyuk pulls him to his chest and tells him unnecessarily things are going to be okay before walking from the room, muttering about having to see Yunho and blinking furiously. Jongin sits down and looks over the schedule and watches Lay out of the corner of his eye. The other man shifts slightly before moving to sit down next to him, side pressed close to his own. 

“So, why do I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t know why you disappeared?” Lay asks, leaning into Jongin as the other tries not to think about how close they are. Over the weekend, as Jongin had taken care of his mother, he had told her about EXO M and found that, no matter what he talked about, Lay kept showing up. And from there, Lay kept showing up in other places too, his thoughts, his musings, his dreams, in varying situations, some feasible, some extremely compromising.

Jongin knows what this may mean, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. It’s happened before. Back in high school, when he first met Kyungsoo, that one time on a school trip, and now it’s happening again. 

“My mom had to go into emergency surgery,” Jongin says, looking up at Lay and trying to smile. He fails. Lay’s eyes widen impossibly and his mouth opens slightly. “It’s okay. She’s alright and all. It was just scary.”

“Holy crap, I’m sorry,” Lay says and Jongin finds himself snorting a laugh.

“Honestly, don’t worry,” he says, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. “She’s okay and that's what’s important.” Lay looks at him for a moment, his mouth slightly open as if he wants to say something but doesn’t quite know what. Instead, Jongin says, ”How was the exhibit?”

Lay flinches and groans slightly, looking away from Jongin. “Kyuhyun subbed for you and, well, it wasn’t a complete disaster but it was no where near what Tao had envisioned. Then Kyuhyun basically pushed Tao over the edge when he told him that Tao was being ridiculous and taking this too seriously and Tao kinda tore apart his studio for two hours before Luhan and Chen managed to get him to calm down.”

Jongin smiles at Lay, bumping their shoulders together. “I miss all the interesting stuff, don’t I?”

“Such a shame,” Lay says, smiling back and bumping back. “We missed you here though,” he adds, shaking his bangs from his eyes. He looks at Jongin sideways and smiles brightly. “We didn’t have anyone to balance out Kyuhyun’s sarcasm and Eunhyuk’s hyper.”

“You poor things,” Jongin says, fake gasping. “Where was Changmin?”

“He was called away for a project with Yunho,” Lay says. “They put him in a sewer and told him to be fierce.”

The two burst out laughing and Jongin feels lighter than he has in days. He turns to look at Lay, the other man still laughing, and feels warm. Lay turns to look at him and, really, he is incredibly handsome.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lay asks, his tone a little softer as he studies Jongin’s face. 

Jongin doesn’t answer for a long time, instead letting his eyes travel over the other man’s face under the pretext of thinking. Which, technically he is, but about other things than Lay probably is. Finally, he breathes and smiles. “Kinda,” he says, and smirks. Lay gives him a swift look before wrestling the younger boy to the floor, the two laughing and Jongin feels unnaturally happy. 

“C’mon,” Lay says a few hours later, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leaning into Jongin. 

“Are you kidnapping me?” Jongin jokes, pushing into the other man and smiling.

Lay smirks at him. “Pretty much,” he says. “I’m treating you to dinner.”

Jongin blinks at him. “Really? Why?”

Lay grins. “Because I want to drug your food so I can have my sordid way with those famous hips of yours,” he says and Jongin feels all of his organs rearrange themselves. 

“Well, at least you’re honest about it,” Jongin says and Lay laughs, pulling Jongin close to himself and leading him from the break room and out of the company. “So, what’s for dinner?” he asks, watching as their feet fall into rhythm. “A romantic setting or are you taking me out for gimbap?”

“Which would you prefer?” Lay asks, looking over at Jongin, their faces quite close. “I’m curious.”

Jongin looks ahead of them, his tongue unconsciously slipping between his lips as he thinks. “Barbeque,” he says finally, looking back at Lay. “It’s pretty much always delicious.”

“Deal,” Lay says, his arm dropping to rest comfortably across Jongin’s back. “As long as you cook it, magnae.”

They eat, and laugh, and joke, and kick each other under the table, and Jongin doesn’t think about his mother, his concentration on his career, how he’s still uncomfortable and small in EXO M. Instead, he thinks about Lay and his smile, how his voice is beautiful and soothing, how he forgets far too many things, and how Jongin should just give up and admit that he essentially wants the other in a non friendly fashion.

“So, Kai, I’m curious,” Lay says, and Jongin looks up. “A crazy young talented model thing like you.” He smirks. “I feel like by now we would have heard about a girlfriend or something. So tell me, is there or isn’t there?”

Jongin tries not to choke on his mouthful of meat, lettuce, and rice. He swallows with difficulty. “I don’t have anyone,” he says, feeling his face heat against his will. 

“No girlfriend?” Lay asks again, before heaving a sigh, blowing out between his lips and sitting back. “First you defy logic with your hip bones and bone structure, and now you’re apparently single. Kai, do you aspire to torture people?”

Jongin smiles into his coke, trying to hide the flush staining his face. “Torture, clearly,” he says and Lay snorts. “What about you?”

Lay looks at him, head cocked to the side. “Me what?”

“Do you have a girlfriend,” Jongin asks, feeling his heart beat pick up. “Or a something.”

“I dunno,” Lay says, looking off to the side. “Maybe I do and I just forgot. I did that in my last relationship.” He looks back over at Jongin, and he’s smirking. “It was not pretty.”

Jongin snorts into his coke before he can stop himself. “You forgot you were in a relationship?” he says and Lay grins at him. “Lay, I have to admit, that’s a really dick thing to do.”

Lay shrugs. “I only remember important things,” he says. 

“So you’re saying your girlfriend wasn’t important?” Jongin says, eyebrows raised as he turns some cooking meat over on the fire grate. “That’s kinda mean.”

“I guess they just weren’t the one for me,” Lay says, watching Jongin’s hands as they work. “And it’s Yixing.”

Jongin looks up. “What?”

“Yixing,” Lay says, eyes traveling up to meet Jongin’s. “My real name is Yixing. Zhang Yixing.”

“Kim Jongin,” Jongin says. 

“I know,” Yixing says, and his eyes are steady as they look into Jongin’s. 

“So,” Jongin says, clearing his throat. “Does this mean we use our real names with each other now?”

Yixing’s head tilts to the side just slightly. “When not at work,” he says. “So I guess we just have to go out for dinner more.”

And as Yixing smiles, his dimple poking into his cheek, Jongin realizes that, maybe, just maybe, he’s passed having a crush on the other man into far more dangerous territory.

-

“Baekhyunnie,” Jongin whines as he curls around the older man, snuggled in one of the many forts RumbleMuffins has and burying his head into Baekhyun’s chest. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Grow a pair of balls?” Sehun suggests from a small table where he’s seated with Chen who is watching his friend with amusement. 

“You stop with your mouth,” Jongin says, frowning at Sehun as the other grins. “Be nice to me. I’m in pain.”

“No, I’m in pain,” Baekhyun says, trying to push Jongin off of him. “Would you please get off my pelvis! God, your hips are like daggers!”

“My hips are amazing,” Jongin pouts, tightening his grip on Baekhyun as the other tries to squirm away. “They’re fantastic and sexy and everyone loves them.”

“I don’t love them,” Sehun says and Chen laughs. 

“I knew having Kyuhyun and Eunkyuk around you all the time would be a bad influence,” Chen says, watching with amusement as Jongin grins wildly at Baekhyun’s annoyed escape attempts. 

“What are you talking about?” Baekhyun says, leveling a look at Chen. “He’s always been this impossible.” He finally gives up and allows Jongin to bury into his side, smiling triumphantly. “Where is Kyungsoo when I need him?”

“Working over time,” Sehun says, poking a finger into his bubble tea and sucking on it slowly. 

“Don’t do that,” Baekhyun says, eyes on Sehun. “You look suggestive and it’s destroying the pure image I have of you in my mind.”

“Whoever said I was pure?” Sehun asks, mouth curving in a smile around his finger and Baekhyun throws a hand over his eyes. 

“Why do I know you people!” Baekhyun moans and Chen laughs again.

“Why have I never met your friends before again, Kai?” 

“Because Jongin is selfish,” Sehun says, looking at Chen and smiling. 

“I’m not selfish,” Jongin mumbles into Baekhyun’s ribs and the older man sighs. 

“No, you’re the horrible combination of my sass, Chanyeol’s idiocy, and Kyungsoo’s strange modesty. Which, basically, means you’re a monster.” Baekhyun shifts around so he’s facing Jongin. “Now, tell me what’s bothering you that you can’t talk to Kyungsoo about because your second mother is working overtime to try to make up for Yeollie being a nervous wreck.”

“Why does he have to exist?” Jongin mumbles into Baekhyun’s shirt and feels his face get hot. 

“Who?” Baekhyun asks.

“Lay,” Chen says, barely even skipping a beat as he glances up from his chai. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Baekhyun says, pushing Jongin back slightly. 

“Zhang Yixing,” Jongin says and groans, throwing himself from Baekhyun to his back and staring at the blankets overhead. 

“He’s one of the models at EXO M and, basically, Kai follows him around like a lost puppy and Yixing thinks he’s adorable,” Chen explains. 

“What are you, my translator?” Jongin asks, frowning at Chen.

“I notice things,” Chen says, shrugging. “I’m not too busy obsessing over people or myself. I just am there for the work and because I have amazing legs. So I notice things.”

“I like you,” Baekyun says, looking at Chen. “What did you say your name was?”

“Jongdae, but pretty much everyone calls me Chen,” Chen says. 

“Except Baozi and Dragon,” Jongin clarifies. 

“They’re special,” Chen says, poking a spoon into his beverage. 

“So, about this Yixing character,” Baekhyun says, looking back at Jongin. “What exactly is the problem?”

“He’s amazing and kind and buys me food and cares when he’s not forgetting his name and I think I seriously want him on me,” Jongin rambles, pushing his fingers through his hair. “Except I’m pretty sure he’s ridiculously straight and just sees me as a little brother.” He rolls onto his side and rests his head on his arm, looking at Baekhyun. “But honestly, he has the most amazing dancing hips in the world and there’s this dimple in his right cheek that I just want to molest.”

Baekhyun turns to look at Sehun. “I miss the young, sweet, adorable Jongin,” he says.

“He died two years ago when Chanyeol introduced him to dirty magazines and he discovered cynicism,” Sehun says, taking a sip of his bubble tea. “Now we have this basket of things who calls himself 'Kai' on occasion.”

“He’s actually not like this at work,” Chen says, looking over at Jongin with amusement. “He’s usually much more reserved and kinda shy. He’s only been acting a bit more like this recently.”

“Give it another month,” Sehun says, poking around for tapioca balls. “Then you’ll wish for the days when Jongin was shy and not a raging diva of all things.”

“Baekhyunnie,” Jongin whines shoving the older man with a hand and pouting in a way he knows is cute. “Help.”

Baekhyun sighs. “Why do they always come to me?” he asks the blanketed ceiling of the fort before turning to look at Jongin. “Tell him you like him,” Baekhyun says. 

Jongin frowns. “You suck at advice,” he says and pushes Baekhyun again. Baekhyun sighs exasperatedly and shoves a pillow in his face. 

“Honestly, you’re just dumb,” Baekhyun says, and sits up. “Look, you like this guy, right?” Jongin nods. “And he seems to kinda get along with you and things, right?” Jongin nods. “And you work at a male modeling company.” Jongin nods, frowning. “And half of the staff is pretty much gay if not gay friendly.” Jongin just frowns at this. He looks over at Chen. 

“What? You know I’m into guys,” Chen says, shrugging at him as he sips his chai. “It took you, what, fifteen minutes before you figured that out. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Point being,” Baekhyun says, drawing Jongin’s attention back to him. “You’re being overdramatic about this thing. I’m sure if you confess he won’t look at you like sewage or…”

“Slug puss,” Sehun supplies and Baekhyun nods, gesturing in appreciation to the younger boy who smiles brightly.

“Exactly, slug puss,” Baekhyun says, turning back to Jongin. “So there. Just tell him you like him!”

Jongin looks at Baekhyun for a moment before groaning and rolling over. “I should have just waited for Kyungsoo to get out,” he grumbles into pillows. “You guys suck at this.”

-

The next week, everything explodes and Jongin has no idea why. Chanyeol goes missing at Planet Records and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are basically nervous twitching wrecks as they attempt to try and make sure Chanyeol doesn’t accidentally die in his apartment. Jongin doesn’t even know what happened at EXO M. He walked in on Monday and basically felt terrified almost instantly. It may have been the completely white faces of the secretaries or the eerie way people seemed to scuttle everywhere they were going without making any sound and looking like they were being hunted by extremely ravenous raptors.

“What’s going-“ Jongin starts to ask walking into the break room but Eunhyuk slaps a hand over his mouth, shutting him up instantly and giving him a meaningful look. 

“Dragon’s out and on the hunt,” Eunhyuk says low in his ear. “Don’t make noise, don’t breath, just do your work and try not to die.”

Jongin nods and Eunhyuk removes his hand from over Jongin’s mouth. Jongin looks around the room. “Where’s Yixing?”

Eunhyuk gives him a look. “Lay left this morning after Luhan and Dragon basically destroyed the top floor. “Something’s seriously messed up and, if you know what’s good for you, you won’t ask.”

Jongin doesn’t ask. Instead he spends the week going to work and trying his best to melt into the walls when he gets his small modeling assignments and watches Yixing as the other walks around in a sort of increasing panic as the week drags on. He notices Yixing approaching him a few times, a small smile on his face but every time, Jongin turns away, feeling his heart in his throat. He knows that, with all of his nerves on such high alert, he’ll probably blurt out “I WANT TO BE ON YOU” at the older man as soon as they get past “hi”. So he avoids him. And Yixing just gets more agitated as the week rolls along.

Nothing can explain the downright terror that washes over everyone when Kris suddenly appears in the break room, Tao behind him, and points to Jongin. 

“You,” the CEO says and Jongin feels like he may have just gone into shock. “We’re going on a field trip. Now.”

Feeling terror thrum though him, Jongin steps forward on noodle legs, the eyes of the other on him and he’s sure Kyuhyun is wondering if he’ll come back alive or in small pieces while Chen is silently praying. “Wh-where?” he asks, wishing he hadn’t said anything the moment it leaves his mouth.

Kris just looks at him. “To your other job,” he says, voice without emotion and goddamn this man is intimidating. 

Thus begins the weirdest cat and mouse chase Jongin has ever experienced in his entire life. First, in a mild panic, he’s taken to Planet Records where an irate Kyunsoo threatens Kris and Jongin fears for both of their lives (he’s not sure who would win this death match, considering Kyungsoo’s protective mother bear side has come out in flying colors). 

In the elevator, Kris turns to him and actually doesn’t sound like he’s going to kill him when he speaks. Jongin notices that maybe, under all of his hard cold collected exterior, Kris isn’t actually that terrifying. He’s already gathered that his boss is looking for Chanyeol, and, though he kinda wonders why, he also feels like he probably knows. 

And it’s kinda cute. 

Then they’re off to RumbleMuffins and Jongin’s never seen Baekhyun look so terrifying holding a pillow in his life. He’s also wishing he had the courage to take a video of Kris being beaten to the floor by a furious Baekhyun with pillows. Because it’s hysterical. And then Baekhyun is jabbing a finger at him and all he wants to do is melt into the floor.

“And you!” Baekhyun grinds out, giving Jongin a pointed look. “Please tell me you told that model you like him, because if you come in here one more time whining about sexy dancing hips and forgetfulness, I’m stuffing your mouth with used coffee grinds, got it?”

Jongin’s pretty sure he’s as red as a traffic light and when Kris turns to him he’s babbling before he can stop himself. “Please don’t fire me! I’m sorry and I’ll never mess up again and I’ll always be on time and I promise I’ll stop teasing Xiumin about his face and I swear I’ll never even look at Lay again. Just please please please don’t-“

Kris cuts him off and gives him the rest of the day off to get himself together. Adding “I’m sure Yixing would be very flattered to know you find him attractive. And you might like to know he’s not nearly as forgetful as he seems to be” and Jongin doesn’t even know how to process that with his panic fogged brain. 

Instead, he turns and bolts down the street, running, not home, but back to EXO M. He can’t talk to Kyungsoo because his roommate and second mother is basically having fits over Chanyeol and Baekhyun hasn’t slept and is pissy and so his only alternative is… someone else.

Arriving out of breath and heaving, Jongin bursts through the doors to EXO M and ends up falling over himself as he clambers into the elevator, pressing at least seven buttons as he slams his hand somewhere in the vicinity of the top floors before collapsing against the wall of the elevator and sliding down it to the floor. 

This is all suddenly complicated and he has too many things floating around his head, focusing mostly on Yixing and his smiles, the press of his body as he leans into Jongin when they talk, and how everything about the other man makes Jongin’s skin burn. The elevator door dings and Jongin rolls up to stumble out of the elevator and finds himself on the top floor and facing a startled looking Luhan.

Before he knows what he’s doing, Jongin is lunging forward to grip Luhan’s desk for support as he explodes, _"you need to fire me!”_ at Luhan.

Luhan looks like someone just punched him in the neck as Jongin heaves heavy breaths at him and looks wildly hopeless and panicked. “Why am I firing you?” Luhan asks, trying his very best to be composed and looking on the verge of a nervous breakdown. 

“Because if you don’t then I’m going to die because if I exist like this any longer I’m going to have a heart attack and there’s a history of cardiac arrest in my family,” Jongin says quickly and fumbling and Luhan blinks at him. 

“You need to explain things,” Luhan says, standing up and trying to get Jongin’s hands from breaking the wood on his desk. “And stop heaving like a winded buffalo. It’s disconcerting.”

Jongin pushes himself from the desk and begins to pace around the front lobby area of the CEO’s office. “I just can’t do this,” he says, feeling like he’s going to scream and cry and laugh at the same time. “I can’t do this whole confession thing all over again. I don’t want to destroy my chances of actually starting my career but I don’t know if I can continue this when all I think about is his hands and his smile and his body and why do I have to fall in love with all of the wrong people?”

Luhan is looking at him with confusion and compassion and panic. It’s a very interesting expression on his face. “Okay, so you can’t work because you like one of the other people working here, yes?”

“I can’t stop it!” Jongin says as he turns, his pacing increasing. “Every time I’m with him it’s like I’m dying and happy and he makes my skin burn and nothing is possible. And who in fuck’s sake has only one dimple that basically just says ‘please molest me’ every time it shows up?”

“You-“ Luhan’s eyes widen slightly. “Yixing?”

“Who else has only one dimple and has ridiculous sexy dancing hips and legs that basically make me want him naked and on me every time he looks at me?!” Jongin yells, stopping his pacing to look at Luhan. 

But Luhan isn’t looking at him. He’s looking over his shoulder with a very surprised expression on his face. 

Jongin feels his entire chest seize up as he turns around swiftly, looking towards the elevator behind him and sees Yixing standing, apparently having just stepped out of the elevator and wearing an expression Jongin imagines people have on when they’ve just been hit in the face with a chair. 

Jongin seriously wonders if life hates him.

-


	3. Chapter 3

Yixing clears his throat and shifts his weight awkwardly as there is horrifically blatant silence everywhere. “Um,” he says and Jongin basically wants to just die on the spot. “Bad time?” 

Jongin doesn’t know what happens to his legs. Just that they seem to have more reaction time than his brain because he’s suddenly sprinting towards the emergency stairs and flinging himself down them and bursting onto the design levels, barreling into Tao’s office before his mind can officially panic. Tao looks up from a mess of leather somethings, eyes widening and Jongin plows into him, collapsing onto the floor in a mess of mixed syllables and hyperventilation. 

_“Why are you touching me?!"_ Tao yells at him, looking panicked as he tries to pick off Jongin’s arms and Jongin really really wants Kyungsoo. But Kyungsoo isn’t here and he needs to hold onto something to make the world stop hating him. Tao seems to take a few very deep breaths, finally bending down and grabbing Jongin firmly under the arms and hauling the tan man to his feet. “First, stop clinging, I am not a tree and you are not a spider monkey,” he says, trying to pry Jongin’s hands off of him. 

Jongin finally allows his arms to drop from where they’ve been trying to latch onto Tao and steps away, trying to calm his hectic breathing. Tao looks at him. “Now, look at me,” he says, leaning close and eyes serious. “Look,” he repeats and Jongin does, breathes gulping. “Breathe in,” he recites and Jongin tries. “Now breathe out.” Jongin tries again and fails. Tao frowns and then suddenly grabs Jongin by the face and jerks his head forward so that their foreheads slam together painfully. _“Breathe!”_ Tao yells and Jongin’s entire respiratory system halts. 

Then he takes in a huge gulp of air and stumbles backwards, gulping for air and Tao lets out a long breath. Jongin takes a few gasping breathes, hand on his chest, as Tao waits for him to get himself under control. He looks up at Tao. Tao closes his eyes and nods at him. “Please explain what the fuck just happened.”

Jongin swallows. “I had a nervous breakdown,” he says.

“On me, I noticed that,” Tao says, nodding and rolling his hand in the air. “Elaborate, please.”

“I just spent an hour being dragged around with Kris and then Baekhyun basically told him all of my feelings toward Yixing and then Kris told me Yixing doesn't forget as much as people thing he does. So I ran back here and basically tried to get Luhan to fire me, but he wouldn’t so I told him he has to because I can’t be here and so much as see Yixing anymore without imaging him on me naked and then suddenly Yixing was there and, well-“

“You thought it best to come and cling to me like an infantile koala,” Tao finishes for him, nodding. “You, Kai, are an imbecile.”

Jongin feels his arms go limp as his chest crushes. He’s used to Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, who at least try to be nice to him and care. Tao, he’s realizing now, is basically cold hard crazy fact. “I just destroyed-“

“No,” Tao says, and turns to walk over to his black leather chairs, waving a hand for Jongin to follow. “You’re an imbecile because, much like all of the other models, you’re too wrapped up in yourself to look at other things that are glaring you in the face. Sit.” Jongin obeys. Tao lowers himself opposite him. “Do you know why I’m obsessed with you?”

Jongin shakes his head, choosing not to comment on the wording. “No.”

“You are a beautiful person,” Tao says, looking at him like one would a work of art. “You have fantastic figure and form and are incredibly appealing. When I see you, I just want to create for your figure. You fascinate me and are a tan Adonis I want to see wearing my creations because I can’t see them as perfect as they would be on you. That’s why I want you as center, that’s why I fuss over you more than Kyuhyun who has years more experience, and that’s why you’re in here more than any other model.”

Jongin nods, feeling oddly flattered and slightly creeped out. 

“Do you know why you are different from models like Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun, Changmin, and Xiumin?” Tao asks and Jongin shakes his head. “Because you have other dreams, other aspirations besides displaying your skills on the runway. Don’t get me wrong, Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun, and Changmin are amazing people and models, but they joined this because they wanted to be models, not because they were looking to further their dreams. You and Chen both have further dreams for life, further goals. You have something else that ignites a passion in you to fight for. So, even if you are a snarky brat when you finally open up, you have something the others lack.”

“What?” Jongin asks, frowning. 

“Dreams,” Tao says and smiles gently. “You have the ability to dream and imagine and feel. Kyuhyun is excellent at being smoke and charcoal because he dropped his dream once he got to a certain point and settled for being a snarky intelligent model. You, on the other hand, can never close up like he did. You want too much. You feel too much, even if you don’t show it openly. And that is why you are special.”

Jongin nods and ducks his head, feeling pleased at Tao’s words. 

“And now,” Tao says, leaning back slightly. “The fuckery that is Yixing.” Jongin looks up. “Yixing is a man who is never able to properly fit anywhere simply because he only focuses on what he thinks is important. He is excessively kind, warm hearted, and never really lets you know what he’s thinking because, he feels, if he does, somehow he will become too invested and miss that one thing that he’s been waiting for since he moved here.”

“Which is?” Jongin asks, frowning.

“Purpose,” Tao says, looking at him steadily. “Yixing came here with Kris six years ago because he had nothing left back in China. His family was never very close nor significant to any of it’s members and the only person he had truly found any connection with was Kris. So when Kris moved, so did Yixing, in hopes that he would find some sort of reason for himself that he had been lacking in China.”

“When you say purpose,” Jongin says slowly. “What do you mean?”

“Anything,” Tao says. “That’s the hard part about Yixing. He wants to find purpose, something to ground him, give him motivation aside from his love of dance, and give him something to dedicate his life to. It could be anything. A job, a hobby, a person, he has no idea. Which is why he, also, is an imbecile.”

“We’re basically all imbeciles to you, aren’t we?” Jongin asks and Tao smiles. 

“Basically,” the designer says. “So, what are you going to do, Kim Jongin, now that you’ve stopped your mental breakdown?”

Jongin stares at the table in front of him for a moment. He’s not entirely sure how, but Tao’s talking seemed to have calmed him. Made the panic of the day settle into a low buzzing. A buzzing he’s able to maintain. “I want to stay here,” he says, and Tao nods once. “I like working here and it’s good experience. I like the people and,” he swallows. “I want to keep him in my life. If it’s as friends, I don’t care. I’ll explain and just, I dunno, exist.”

Tao gives Jongin a long look before standing up. “Great, now get out. You interrupted me in designing and I need to get back to it. Go find Chen and Eunhyuk. They’ll be worried you’re dead.”

-

Tao turns out to be right. As soon as Jongin walks into the break room, Eunhyuk is throwing himself on him and checking for bodily injuries while Chen asks him questions to make sure he hasn’t gone insane. Jongin pushes them off, laughing slightly before telling them he’s going home early. He goes home and crawls into bed, feeling exhausted and passes out almost instantly.

The next morning, Kyungsoo drags him out of bed for breakfast and Sehun shows up around eleven. 

“So, what happened yesterday?” Kyungsoo finally says, looking at Jongin over a cup of coffee. “And why were you with Kris?”

“He’s my boss,” Jongin says, poking in a bowl of cereal. “He wanted to find Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo scowls. “So I gathered.” He glowers. “Good Lord, that man wouldn’t know polite if it smacked into him wearing an dinosaur costume.”

“You should have seen Baekhyun,” Jongin says, smirking as the mental image of Kris being hit over the head multiple times by a pillow-wielding Baekhyun playing before his eyes. “He basically attacked Kris with pillows until Kris was lying on the floor and begging. It was epic.”

“He’s just lucky those were pillows,” Kyungsoo grumbles into his coffee. “Baekhyun’s attacked people with far worse. Remember that time Chanyeol’s ex came in after she dumped him?”

Jongin sniggers. “He went after her with a meat tenderizer, didn’t he?” he says, remembering the incident. “Why does he even have that thing?”

“He says it’s better than a hammer when breaking bags of ice,” Sehun says, fingers tapping against his own coffee. “Though I think he keeps it to secretly ward off customers who are too flirtatious.”

“I can see him doing that,” Kyungsoo says, nodding softly.

“So,” Sehun says, turning to him. “What else happened? Chen called and said something about you almost quitting yesterday. What was that about?”

Jongin feels himself go slightly red at the memory of what had happened in Luhan’s office area. “I kinda had a small mental breakdown because of Kris and Baekhyun basically shouting to the world that I like one of my coworkers.”

“Yixing,” Kyungsoo and Sehun say in unison, looking at each other and sharing a look. 

“You’re terrible friends,” Jongin says, frowning at them. 

“No, we’re amazing friends for putting up with you and your feelings,” Kyungsoo says, flicking him in the forehead. “So, what? You didn't quit? You told him you want to jump his bones? Luhan married you two? Tao molested you and now you’re a eunuch?”

Jongin frowns. “None,” he says. “I kinda yelled at Luhan how-“ he clears his throat. “Anyway, then I talked with Tao and was able to calm down a bit and think things through.”

Kyungsoo and Sehun look at him. “And?”

“And nothing,” Jongin says, getting up with his cereal bowl and dumping it in the sink. “I’m taking a shower.” He leaves them to look at each other in exasperation. 

Thirty minutes later as Jongin is running a towel through his damp hair, he walks back into the kitchen to find Kyungsoo and Sehun pestering a newly arrived Baekyun, who looks haggard. 

“Hey,” Jongin says, looking at Baekhyun as the older man is running a hand through his usually immaculate hair, a sure sign that something massive has just occurred. “What brings you here, Bacon?”

Baekhyun looks up and gives him an exhausted glower. “One more word and I’m dying your hair pink in your sleep.”

Jongin shrugs, sitting down and draping his towel over his shoulders. “Go ahead, it wouldn’t make me any less attractive.”

“You,” Kyungsoo says as he shakes his head at his roommate. “Are the most impossible person I have the misfortune to know.” Jongin grins at him.

“So, what ups?” Jongin asks, turning his attention back to Baekhyun. “And why do you look like you just crawled out of a cave.”

“I think I did,” Baekhyun says, pulling a hand over his face. “I just got back from Chanyeol’s and never, ever, want to go there again.”

“Kris and Chanyeol are dating,” Sehun says as Kyungsoo turns murder eyes towards the refrigerator. “Apparently Kris went there after Baekhyun gave him Chanyeol’s address. They yelled at each other than then made up from whatever the fuck was wrong with them and I’m guessing Chanyeol let Kris put his hand down his pants this time around.”

“I’ve never seen anything so vomit inducing,” Baekhyun moans pathetically. “Chanyeol needs to remember that pants are important before opening his apartment door.”

“How does he manage to fail on a constant basis?” Kyungsoo ponders, still glaring death at the fridge. “And why in hell’s name did you give that man Chanyeol’s address? Did this entire week not register with your eyeliner obsessed brain?”

“Oh, come on, you did not have to listen to Yeollie put together what feelings were in regards to that asshole all of the past two weeks,” Baekhyun says, giving Kyungsoo an exasperated look. “If I hadn’t done something to get those two to stop dancing around like drunk giraffes, they would have blow up half the city with their incompetency.”

“Baekhyunnie’s right,” Jongin says, nodding as he rests his arms on the table, slouching. “Kris was basically a fire monster all week and no one was allowed to be happy.” He fidgets with his fingers. “EXO M was basically a mess of terror and oversensitive models running about like frightened ducks.”

Baekhyun turns to look at Jongin. “Speaking of EXO M and it’s many manly models, Kyungsoo says you have something to talk about.” He fixes his eyes on the younger boy. “Speak now or I’m using tongue pliers until you do.”

“How are you not a serial killer?” Sehun says, shaking his head at Baekhyun. 

“I’m too pretty,” Baekhyun says to Sehun, eyes still on Jongin. “Did you tell him or not? Or did he forget who you were?”

“Well, yes and no,” Jongin says, fidgeting. “I was kind of panicking after leaving you.”

“So I noticed,” Baekhyun says, nodding. “So, did you go and molest him or something?”

“What is with your mouth today?” Kyungsoo says, finally dragging his eyes from the fridge. “Honestly.”

“Chanyeol! Naked! Door!” Baekhyun says loudly and definitively, gesturing at the table with gusto. “No more!” He looks at Jongin and the younger feels it would benefit his survival if he talks. 

“I went back to EXO M and started to have a panic attack at Luhan, Kris’ secretary, and basically shouted I wanted to have Yixing naked and on me and Yixing chose that moment to walk out of the elevator,” Jongin says in a rush of breath. “Then Tao was brutally honest and I felt better but still don’t really know what to do.”

Baekhyun looks over at Kyungsoo, who sighs. “We really are your parents,” Kyungsoo says, giving Jongin a look. 

“You’re his parent, I’m the one who he whines to and abuses,” Baekhyun grumbles. 

“So, you’re his gay uncle,” Sehun says and Baekhyun glowers at him.

“Okay, what did Tao tell you do to?” Baekyun says, sighing. 

Jongin slouches further into the table. “He didn’t really,” he says. “He basically just helped me feel less terrified about life in general and explained a few things. Though he did give me the impression that I should talk to Yixing before things get massively out of hand.”

“I like the sound of this Tao,” Baekhyun muses. “I feel like I would get along with him.”

“You probably would. You both have terrifying tendencies,” Jongin says, nodding. 

“Is he also obsessed with eyeliner?” Sehun asks and Baekhyun smacks him upside the head without looking. 

“So, basically, Tao is telling you what I’ve been telling you,” Baekhyun says, fixing Jongin with a look. “Tell Yixing you like him.”

Jongin scowls at his hands. 

“Jongin, if you don’t tell him, you’re going to make yourself worse,” Kyungsoo says, wrapping a hand around Jongin’s fidgeting fingers. “When you feel this intensely about something, you need to let it out. I know you. I live with you for that matter. When you are this wrapped up about something, it basically builds up inside of you until you’re completely useless.” 

Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo to see him looking at him tenderly. “If you don’t tell Yixing you like him, you’re going to make yourself sick. Once you tell him, it’ll be off your chest and in the open. You’ll stop keeping secrets and, however things turn out, you’ll feel better.”

Jongin sighs and looks at his hands, pressed together under Kyungsoo’s reassuring grip. “What if I’m not good enough.”

“It has nothing to do with you not being good enough,” Kyungsoo says, giving his hands a light squeeze. “If things aren’t perfect and meant to be, then that’s that and you can move on. But until you know that there is no chance, you’re going to obsess over this like you do all small things in that crazy mind of yours.”

“So, what, I walk up to him and say ‘Hey, Yixing, I just thought you should know I want you in all of the inappropriate ways imaginable’ because that will be lovely,” Jongin says, looking gloomily at the table. 

“Jongin, you already kinda did that,” Baekhyun says, his mouth quirking. “I mean, you can do it again, but I think he probably got the message the first time. There’s not much to misinterpret about ‘Yixing naked and on me’ if I’m not mistaken.”

“Why is life?” Jongin moans, pressing is face against the table top and feeling slightly comforted by the cool surface. 

“Here’s my advice,” Baekhyun says and Jongin looks up to him. “Talk to him, explain yourself, and go at it like you do your performances. Nothing oozes confidence like you do when you’re performing. So stop being a dramatic queen and fix this before you become an even bigger pain in our asses.”

-

Monday afternoon hits and Jongin is walking into EXO M with a mission that he has sworn to himself he will complete before the day is out. He walks past the front lobby, takes the elevator the third floor, and walks into the break room. It isn’t until he’s actually inside the room that he notices that EXO M is the most relaxed it’s ever been. He looks around at the faces of Chen, Eunhyuk, and Xiumin who basically look like Christmas is tomorrow. Changmin is just idly sitting in his usual chair, reading a book.

“We’re all quite comfy, aren’t we,” Jongin says, striding over to the schedule and checking it. He’s scheduled to work on a small project in an hour. Nothing major. 

“Dragon is basically skipping,” Eunhyuk says, grinning his gums at nothing in particular. “Well, the Dragon equivalent of skipping. Either way, it’s glorious and he’s happy and we’re happy and everyone can just get married now.”

“How are you older than me?” Changmin says, glancing from his chair at Eunhyuk, who smiles dazedly at him. “Honestly, I do not understand, and I’m supposed to be intelligent.”

“You lack emotions,” Xiumin tells him from where he’s playing beads with Chen. “It seems to be your one character flaw.”

“I do not lack emotions,” Changmin says frowning. “I just don’t flaunt them like some peacocks I know.”

“Stop lying, you have less emotional capacity than a bag of peanuts,” Yixing says, walking into the room and Jongin jerks around to look at him, feeling his pulse increase involuntarily. “Hey there, jumpy,” he says, smiling at Jongin. 

Jongin’s eyes flash to that dimple and he licks dry lips. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asks, feeling nervous and shoving his hands into his pockets to keep them from lashing out randomly at unsuspecting things.

“Sure, what’s up?” Yixing says, and his tone is unnaturally casual. 

Jongin swallows. “Things,” he says lamely before striding forward and grabbing Yixing’s wrist, pulling him from the break room as the eyes of the other models follow them curiously. Yixing doesn't say anything, just shoots him a curious and slightly strained look as he allows himself to be dragged from the room.

Jongin takes them a few paces down the hallway before making a conscious effort to drop Yixing’s wrist and turn to him, breathing deeply. Yixing is watching him expectantly, face set and impassive if Jongin even tried to read it. 

“I like you,” Jongin says, choosing not to beat around the bush. “And not in a ‘hey, we’re friends’ way but in a ‘I want an intimate knowledge of your everything’ sort of way.” He swallows, feeling all sorts of uncomfortable animals in his stomach and his face burning. 

Yixing blinks at him, staring before sighing and rubbing a hand against the back of his neck, laughing slightly. “Well-“

“And I’m sorry,” Jongin says, cutting him off because he can’t take the rejection. Not just yet. “I didn't mean for you to find out because I screamed it at Luhan in a mild panic attack.”

“Mild?” Yixing says, eyebrows raised. 

“Okay, not mild,” Jongin amends. “Anyway, I was going through a lot and was stressed and it just sort of came out because I’ve been fighting with myself over this for weeks.” He sighs, closing his eyes and dropping his head slightly. “Anyway, I wanted to tell you for real, rather than just hearing it from an outburst, and for you to know that I’m sorry. I understand if you feel uncomfortable or don’t want to hang out anymore or don’t feel the same way, but, please,” his voice cracks slightly. “Can we please just be friends? Because I would really appreciate that.”

Jongin opens his eyes and looks up at Yixing and the other man is looking at him, eyes taking in everything about him and Jongin feels horribly exposed. He can’t read him, can’t read the look on his face, can’t seem to interpret the look in Yixing’s eyes and it makes him more scared than he’s prepared for, breath hitching. 

“Okay,” Yixing says suddenly and Jongin has no idea what that means. But somehow, having Yixing say anything, anything at all, brings relief crashing over him and he lets out a long breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

“We’re okay?” Jongin asks, feeling comforted by how Yixing is just smiling easily at him, as if nothing ever changed. 

“Yeah, we’re okay,” Yixing tells him, putting a warm hand on his shoulder and squeezing. “We’re perfect.” Jongin hates how many emotions he feels for the man before him. “Wanna grab dinner after work? My treat.”

Jongin smirks at him “When is it not your treat?” Yixing just grins at him. 

At six, when Jongin is wrapping up from the brief shoot he’d been assigned for a kitchen designs, he meets Yixing in the break room as the other is packing up. “What’s for dinner?” he asks and Yixing looks up, a smile spreading over his face. 

“Whatever you want,” Yixing tells Jongin and they both grin. 

They get galbi and joke about useless things and Jongin watches the way Yixing smiles and his eyes shine as they kick each other under the table. 

“Can you teach me how to dance?” Jongin asks suddenly, chopsticks hovering by his mouth. 

Yixing blinks. “What do you mean? You know how to dance.”

Jongin shakes his head slightly. “Not like you. I only danced for a few years but never really focused on it like you have.” He pops a piece of meat into his mouth. “I want to learn how to move like you do.”

“Why?” Yixing asks, leaning across the table slightly. 

Jongin smirks at him. “Because I want to be Kim Jongin, the man of many threats.”

“What other threats do you have?” Yixing asks, raising an eyebrow skeptically. 

“I’m gorgeous, I sing, I model, I can be super cute, and, if you teach me, I’ll be a dance machine,” Jongin says, grinning smugly at Yixing, sticking his chopsticks between his teeth. 

“Super cute?” Yixing says. “Since when were you super cute?”

“Oh come on,” Jongin says, looking at Yixing indignantly. “I’m adorable.”

“You’re a brat,” Yixing says, taking a large piece of meat from the hotplate and shoving it into his mouth. 

Jongin pushes out his lower lip, letting his eyebrows crease slightly in a pout and training his eyes into a begging shine, leaning forward over the table. He’s pouting and adorable and he knows it. He curls his hand into a fist and tucks it under his cheek for the finishing touch. “Please teach me to dance like you, Yixing,” he says and Yixing stares at him, a chopstick falling to the table and Jongin knows he’s won.

Jongin is grinning triumphantly as they leave the restaurant and Yixing is grumbling something about sneaky cute attacks as they wander towards one of the nearby parks. It’s a cool night and the air prickles at Jongin’s skin pleasantly. He sticks his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he walks, noticing as Yixing’s steps match his as they walk. 

“Thanks,” Jongin says, leaning over and bumping his shoulder with Yixing’s. “For teaching me and stuff.”

Yixing smiles at him. “How could I resist that face?” he says and his dimple winks. “Honestly, that’s a weapon I never expected from you.”

“I’m full of surprises,” Jongin says, grinning. “The longer you know me, the more you’ll discover.” He wags his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner and Yixing laughs. 

“I look forward to it,” Yixing says, slinging an arm around Jongin’s shoulders and pulling him into his side. Jongin feels how warm Yixing is against him and his stomach battles gravity. 

Jongin pulls away, dancing away ahead of Yixing and turning around to walk backwards, trying to push down the brightness that seems to be rising in his chest. They’re friends. “So,” he says, arms raised slightly at his sides as he bounces on his toes. “What are you teaching me?”

Yixing shakes his head briefly, smiling. “Well, you know the basics, so I’ll guess I’ll just teach you a few steps and you can play with them.” He walks up to stand in front of Jongin, a few feet separating them. “Just watch,” he says and then, after pausing for a fraction of a second, is moving and his body flows and Jongin can’t to anything but obey as his eyes fixate on Yixing as the older man dances.

Jongin feels his pulse speed up slightly as he watching Yixing and doesn’t know if it’s from adrenaline from watching this dancing perfection or if it’s because the man he’s fallen for is dancing for him and only him. Yixing finally spins to a stop and looks at Jongin, smile on his lips. 

“Think you can do that?”

Jongin swallows. “I can try,” he says and flashes a smile at Yixing. 

“Great,” Yixing beams and shuffles to stand next to Jongin. “Okay, first step.” He goes a quick shuffling with his feet a hand snapping out and drawing back as his hips swerve. Jongin tries to copy it. He does a marginally acceptable job and Yixing frowns. “Almost, try again.”

Jongin tries again and is a little bit less uncoordinated. He frowns at his feet. “Can you show me again?” he asks, looking up at Yixing. Yixing nods and repeats the step. Jongin copies him much better this time and Yixing grins. 

“Better,” he says and the two of them copy the step a few more times until Jongin has it. 

They continue like this for a few a while, passing through the other steps until Jongin has mastered it all. He looks up, grinning at Yixing, cheeks flushed and panting slightly. “I did it?” he asks, watching the other man closely.

Yixing beams at him and Jongin feels his heart clench as his breath catches. He thought confessing would help. It didn’t. “You did it perfectly,” Yixing says and steps back. “Let’s try something a little harder.” And he’s dancing again, this time his body moving much more fluidly, a slower slide and push to his limbs and hips as unheard music floats around them. He glides to a stop and Jongin realizes he’s stopped breathing. Yixing grins at him, voice slightly breathless. “You look stunned.”

“I am,” Jongin says, and looks up at Yixing with eyes clear of walls and secrets. 

Yixing doesn’t back away. Instead, he moves closer and exhibits the first step, his face glowing in the darkness as his lips remain slightly parted. He stops and looks at Jongin. “Try it,” he says and all Jongin can see are Yixing’s hips sliding through space as his legs bend and twist. 

Jongin tries. Jongin fails. 

“No,” Yixing says, his voice still full of air and things that make Jongin’s heart pound. “You need to move from your center out.” And he moves towards Jongin, sliding behind him and presses just barely against him as Jongin’s throat tightens and his lungs ache. “Like this,” Yixing breathes into his ear as hands come to rest on Jongin’s waist, hot and firm and sending shivers racing across Jongin’s skin. 

It’s too much. 

The pounding of Jongin’s heart and the clenching in his chest and the feel of Yixing’s breath against his skin has Jongin stumbling forward, away from Yixing and trying to calm the waves of hot and cold running over his body. 

“I can’t,” Jongin cracks out, looking at Yixing with wide eyes. 

Yixing frowns at him. “What?” he asks, looking highly perplexed.

“I can’t do this,” Jongin says, his voice hurting in his mouth as it breaks on syllables. “I- I just can’t. I’m sorry.” He turns, feeling the need to just get away, to run before he does something silly, like throw himself on top of Yixing and try to take all of their clothes off. 

However, Jongin is barely able to take two steps before there is a firm hand closing over his wrist, pulling him back. He turns, eyes meeting Yixing’s serious face as the other man looks at him with intensity he’s not prepared for. “Can’t what?” he demands and his voice is strained, desperate as his eyes rake over Jongin’s face.

“I can’t do this because I can’t stop,” Jongin says desperately as he tries to pull away. Yixing tugs him back harshly, eyes boring into him. “Let go!” 

“No!” Yixing says harshly, grabbing Jongin by the arms and pulling him closer, trying to get the younger to stop running from him. “You can’t what, Jongin?!”

-


	4. Chapter 4

“You can’t what, Jongin?!” 

Yixing’s eyes are boring into him, his face close and Jongin can’t breathe. “I can’t do this because I think I’m falling in love with you!” Jongin almost yells and feels horror wash over him. “Fuck,” he bites out and drops his eyes to where his hands are braced against Yixing’s chest. “I’m sorry. I messed up and I just can't do this. Not now. I need to get my head cleared.” He coughs slightly, his throat feeling raw. “I though saying something earlier would help me calm down, get my head steady, but it didn’t.” He glances up and Yixing is watching him with tender eyes and Jongin feels himself break under that look. 

“You’re an idiot,” Yixing says, and raises his eyebrows for emphasis, leaning into Jongin slightly. “I don’t know how, or why, but you’re a complete idiot.”

Jongin scowls, feeling anger and frustration rush through him. With his nerves already running high, it’s not too surprising, and the sudden rush does give him energy. “Why does everyone say that?” he snaps, bringing his arms up swiftly and shoving Yixing’s arms from him, finally dislodging the grip the other had on his arms. “I’m not an idiot!”

“You kinda are,” Yixing says, smiling faintly. 

“You forget things!” Jongin snaps. It’s irrational but he doesn’t care. He’s annoyed and embarrassed and hurting and it’s been an intense past few weeks. “You forget things that you should and remember things you shouldn’t, you smile at everything, you have the most seductive dimple in the world, and those hips should be illegal!” Jongin snorts heavily through his nose, having been gesturing wildly through his tirade. “You’re always there and then you’re not, you always speak in riddles and I can’t get you out of my head.”

“If you’re trying to scold me, you’re doing a shitty job,” Yixing says, his mouth smirking and that dimple, that goddamn dimple winks at Jongin. Jongin stares at it for a second, breaths heaving before he meets Yixing’s eyes. They’re dancing in amusement and something snaps inside Jongin as he lunges forward at the other man, arms snapping up and Yixing’s eyes widen in shock as Jongin’s hands grab his face and their mouths crash together in painful bliss.

Jongin isn’t thinking. He stopped doing that a while ago. Eyes closed, chest hurting and bursting, his fingers pull that mouth, those lips, this perfection closer and his and feels a moan sigh in his throat, pressing deeper, harder, more insistently against that mouth that’s been haunting his dreams for so long. It presses back and it’s not gentle. To be fair, neither is he with his mouth open and trying to find more, feel more, quench the undying thirst that’s coiling in the pit of his stomach. 

Then two hands ghost over Jongin’s waist and it comes rushing back. Eyes flying open, Jongin freezes pulling back slightly to look at Yixing’s face, flushed and blinking at him blearily between his hands and with a rush of frozen reality, he realizes what he’s just done. “Oh fuck-“ he lets slip from his lips before he’s running, sprinting for all he’s worth. 

Because he’s probably just messed up everything that he wanted to keep by a foolish slip. All because of dimples and dancing.

-

“I’m sorry, you did what?” Kyungsoo says, putting his arms on Jongin’s shoulders to stop the other man from shaking him uncontrollably. “Say that again with less hysterics, because all I heard was screaming panic.”

Jongin takes a few gulping gasps of breath, blinking furiously and trying to block out the pounding of his heart in his ears. “I kinda just sorta accidentally kissed Yixing,” he says, voice raw and gasping, because what else would it be after running all the way home in a wild panic. 

“How do you kinda just sorta accidentally kiss someone?” Kyungsoo says, frowning at his roommate. “What, did you trip over a cat and magically your mouth landed on his and you two stayed like that for a few minutes because, hey, why not?”

“Not. Helping,” Jongin moans, shaking Kyungsoo harshly and the other man frowns, trying not to fall over. “Kyungsoo,” he whines.

“Okay, start from the beginning, because just bursting in here and sayings ‘I accidentally put my mouth on his mouth and now I’m having panic attacks’ isn’t really giving me much to work on,” Kyungsoo says, trying to pry Jongin’s fingers from his shoulders. Jongin numbly complies, letting Kyungsoo take him by the hands and drag him towards the kitchen table, sitting them both down. “Do I need to call Baekhyun?”

“Why would you call Baekhyun?” Jongin asks, swallowing thickly around his feelings.

“For moral support,” Kyungsoo says seriously. 

Jongin frowns. “Why do you think I came to you?” he asks.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “For me, not you,” he says, and there’s a brief moment where the two look at each other before bursting out laughing, Kyungsoo loud and happy and Jongin much weaker than usual. “Okay, start with yesterday after you left Planet Records. I’m guessing that’s where the beginning is.”

Jongin breathes at the table for a few minutes, trying to swallow properly and being marginally successful. “Well, EXO M is no longer a breeding ground of stress and tension now that Kris is getting laid,” he beings and Kyungsoo groans.

“You really wouldn’t know delicacy if it hit you with a mace, would you?” the large-eyed boy says, smirking despite himself. Jongin gives him a look. “Okay, EXO M is now peachy,” he says, waving a hand. “Go on.”

“I got into work and found Yixing and talked to him,” Jongin says, feeling slightly numb as he recounts the previous days events. “I told him I liked him and basically apologized for what happened Friday morning and asked if we could still be friends.”

“You asked if you could be friends,” Kyungsoo repeats, watching him closely. 

Jongin looks up, frowning slightly. “Yeah, what else would I ask? ‘By the way, stay as far as fuck away from me because I may molest you on sight’? No, I’d rather not have him think I’m some sort of sex offender.”

Kyungsoo snorts and kicks him lightly under the table. “Continue, I’m analyzing.”

Jongin looks back at the table, the conversation from yesterday replaying in his head, along with other things. “He said we were okay and then asked me for dinner later and I said sure.”

“He asked you out to dinner,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin looks up at him again. “Jongin-“

Jongin knows where Kyungsoo is going with this and rolls his eyes. “We get dinner or lunch or whatever together all the time. It’s nothing special.” Kyungsoo says nothing, just purses his lips at Jongin like he really wants to say something. Jongin frowns and continues. “Anyway, then I did a shoot for a kitchen or home something magazine. I don’t really know, they made me stand in a kitchen and look domestic or something. Then I met Yixing and we went out for galbi-“

“Did he buy?” Kyungsoo asks, interrupting him.

“Of course he bought,” Jongin says absently, waving a hand. “He always buys. So, at dinner we chatted for a while and it was normal and not awkward and then I asked him if he could teach me some dance, because, well, I want to learn and he said yes after I showed him my aegyo face-“

“You,” Kyungsoo takes a swift breath. “You used aegyo? On Yixing? And it worked?”

“What, I’m adorable when I want to be,” Jongin says frowning. “Even you say so.”

“I tell you you’re adorable when you’re fangirling over Big Bang because it’s like you’ve morphed into a middle school child,” Kyungsoo says. “You doing aegyo is like deadly meets sexy in a WF Smackdown and they suddenly reproduce.”

“Shut up, you’re jealous,” Jongin says, scowling. 

“Story,” Kyungsoo says pointedly. 

“So he taught me a few dance steps in a park and I wasn’t that bad, but then he decided to teach me harder steps and I just couldn’t stop feeling attracted to him and then, when I failed at doing a step, he came and tried to teach me-“

“I thought he was teaching you,” Kyungsoo interrupts again, frowning. 

“Would you let me finish!” Jongin snaps, exasperated and feeling his ears burn as he recounts what happened. “He tried to show me by guiding me physically, as his standing behind me and moving my hips properly and _would you stop grinning like that!_ ”

Kyungsoo attempts to school his face into a serious expression. “Sorry,” he mumbles before fighting again with his face, finally schooling it into an acceptable display of mild interest and concern mixed with dying amusement.

Jongin sighs. “So, he tries to help me not fail and I just couldn’t take how close he was to me and his hands on my hips because it just made everything so real and so almost perfect but so inaccessible it hurt. So I pushed away and told him I couldn’t do this anymore and he got annoyed and kept demanding what I couldn’t do and I couldn’t properly explain it and got flustered and then ended up telling him I loved him.”

Kyungsoo is looking at him, saying nothing and Jongin feels his chest expanding and contracting and it’s severely uncomfortable. He takes a deep shuddering breath.

“Then he called me an idiot, so I called him an idiot and started rambling slightly and he made an asshole comment and I kinda snapped and put my mouth on his mouth and it was so perfect it was agony.” Jongin heaves a shuddering breath and puts his face into his hands. “And it was so good it hurt and felt so right and I think he was in shock, because he didn’t pull away but then I felt his hands brush against me and pushed away before he could and basically ran here and I’m so stupid and, holy shit, Kyungsoo what did I do?”

Kyungsoo is staring at him with his wide eyes and a slightly annoyed expression Jongin has only ever seen on his mother and Baekhyun when he looks at his particularly rambunctious customers. Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything and Jongin feels his skin prickle as cold creeps up his arms. Then the other boy is standing up, walking over to the counter, picking up the report he had been reading when Jongin had burst into the house, walking back over to Jongin and smacking him over the head with it repeatedly.

“Ow!” Jongin yelps in surprise and pain, arms flying over his head for protection against the onslaught. “What-! Kyungsoo! Ow, fuck! What are you-?”

“Why!” Kyungsoo says, voice loud and words emphasized with a smack to the head. “Are! You! So! Goddamn! Idiotic!”

Jongin finally manages to stand up and move away from Kyungsoo, who proceeds to chase him around the kitchen, swatting at him vigorously. “What! Stop it! Kyungsoo!”

“He was coming onto you, you moron!” Kyungsoo yells, delivering a particularly hard blow to Jongin’s shoulder. “He probably has been for a while but you’re too wrapped up in your own drama to notice anything that’s not shoved down your throat!”

Jongin stills and suffers a very large smack to the face by Kyungsoo, who, seemingly satisfied with his beating, finally stops and stands in front of Jongin, breathing heavily. “What?” Jongin breathes.

“He’s been hanging out with you for I don’t know how long, putting up with you and you always talk about how touchy feeling you are and how it drives you insane but did you ever consider in that demented brain of yours that maybe, just maybe, he was coming onto you?” Kyungsoo barrels at him, nostrils flaring. “He takes you out to dinner all the time, looks out for you at work, remembers small things like your dislike of coffee and love of dogs, which, by the way, it’s a fucking miracle because apparently his memory is about as good as dirt.”

Jongin’s pulse is racing and his eyes are wide. Images of the past month, all of the times Yixing had approached him, that smiling face and warm gaze, his soft words and stupid jokes, his gentle but firm touches. 

“And then, when you confess to him, you go and make messes of things by telling him you want to be friends, so he takes you out to dinner, then teaches you how to fucking dance and comes on to you because no one touches someone unnecessarily unless they want something more!” Kyungsoo continues, taking a step towards Jongin. “And then you go and mash your mouths together after running away like a stupid rabbit and the fact that he doesn’t pull away is fucking significant and he was probably totally okay with things progressing from there if you hadn’t let your feelings get in the way and run away!”

Kyungsoo finishes breathing heavily and silence falls between them. Jongin’s brain is roaring, shock at the incredibly clear analysis Kyungsoo has just delivered vibrating through him and he realizes, with a rush, that Yixing was absolutely right. He is an idiot.

“I’m an idiot,” Jongin breathes, looking at Kyungsoo in shock at this sudden turn of reality. 

Kyungsoo snorts. “Yes, you are. A giant flaming and ridiculously good looking complete utter moron.”

“The fuck do I do?” Jongin says, voice rising in volume because, really, he’s embarrassed and things are stupid. 

“I don’t know!” Kyungsoo snaps, gesturing with his stack of papers still clenched firmly in his hands. “I can’t think anymore! You’ve worn me out with your stupidity! I need a shower, don’t blow up.” He drags a hand over his face, dropping the report on the table and walks swiftly from the kitchen leaving Jongin staring at where he was standing and feeling extremely foolish. Kyungsoo sticks his head back into the room, face tired. “I’m sorry, I just have had a lot of these things to deal with lately. First Chanyeol, now you, and I’m just a little exhausted from it.” He smiles weakly.

Jongin swallows and tries to shake out the tension from his limbs. “It’s okay,” he says. Because what else can he say.

“Just, I dunno,” Kyungsoo sighs, eyes dropping closed for a moment. “Talk to him for real. Sort this mess out. Maybe you’ll be surprised.” He purses his lips for a moment. “Or call someone else, because I’m all out of advice.”

Then Kyungsoo disappears to the bathroom and Jongin spends a few moments just standing and breathing before he’s fumbling for his phone, punching in numbers and waiting for a dial tone. 

“Hello?” Chen’s voice says from the other end of the line, sounding pleasant and curious. 

“I need help,” Jongin says immediately. 

“Are you arrested?” Chen asks and Jongin blinks.

“No,” Jongin says, feeling slightly dumb.

“Oh, well that’s good,” Chen says brightly. “What’s up?”

“I told Yixing I like him and maybe put my mouth on his mouth and all sorts of messes happened,” Jongin says quickly and there is silence on the other end.

“You did what?!” Chen says, and his voice is raised slightly. “When?”

“About an hour ago,” Jongin says, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Help.”

Chen seems to be shuffling around for a moment. “I don’t know,” he says and Jongin can imagine him making a frowny face. “Did he say he likes you back?”

“No,” Jongin says, feeling his cheeks redden against his will. “I kinda didn’t give him the chance to before I mashed faces with him.”

“You really are graceful, you know that?” Chen says and the amusement is clear on his voice. “Why don’t you just call him and try to talk things out?”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “Because that’s way too simple of a solution and you know he never answers his phone.”

“Worth a shot,” Chen says. “Good luck!” and the line disconnects.

Jongin is left staring at the wall, mouth open slightly. Well, that was decidedly unhelpful. Scowling, he pulls the phone from his ear and, because he has no idea what else to do, punches in Yixing’s number. 

The phone rings about sixteen times before Jongin smashes the disconnect button with far more force than necessary, practically growling at the poor piece of technology. He punches in Tao’s number without thinking.

Tao picks up after two rings. 

“Be important or I’m screaming,” Tao says.

“Is this seriously how you always answer you phone?” Jongin asks, amused none the less.

“I’m giving you five seconds before your ear drums bleed,” Tao says, voice cold.

“I told Yixing I’m in love with him and then assaulted his mouth in a park before running away because feelings,” Jongin says in a rush of breath. 

There is silence on the other end. 

“Hello?” Jongin says.

“Did he kiss back?” Tao asks, and his voice is unreadable over the line. “Or do anything at all?”

Jongin swallows. “Yes, and he may have been about to put his hands on my hips, though I’m not sure if that was to push me away or not. I kinda panicked.”

“Okay,” Tao says, voice clear over the line. “Here’s what you’re going to do.” Jongin holds the phone and tries not to breathe too harshly. “You’re going to hang up this phone, go find Lay, and lay him.”

Jongin stares at his wall. It stares back. “What?”

“Jesus Christ, you’re an imbecile,” Tao says. “Go find Lay and fuck him, because both of you clearly need to stop this dance of primitive intelligence before it drives the rest of us insane.” There’s a pause. “Go.” Another pause. _“Now!”_

Jongin’s not sure why he’s listening to Tao. Maybe it’s because the other man has such biting clarity to his words when they come from his mouth. But he finds himself barreling once more down the street and back towards the park where he had left Yixing. He arrives twenty minutes later heaving to find it deserted. 

But really, what else did he expect? Gulping, Jongin looks back at his phone. Tao had hung up. He looks around the park and feels hopelessly ineffective at understanding things that are right in front of him.

-

“No, they are not practical!” Chanyeol says, looking at Jongin like he’s completely nuts.

Jongin rolls his eyes. “It’s not about the comfort of wearing them! It’s about the style and how they basically make you look like living sex!”

“I already look like living sex!” Chanyeol says, gesturing wildly to himself. “I don’t need to be wearing plastic pants for people to see that!”

“They’re not plastic!” Jongin yells, wondering how Chanyeol can’t seem to get past this. “It’s pleather!”

“It would make my legs itchy and hot!” Chanyeol says, gesturing to his lower half violently. “Why in hell would I want that! I already find pants annoying! Why make it worse!”

“Because they look fantastic!” Jongin says, putting as much emphasis into his words as he can. “Have you seen someone’s ass in leather? It’s basically all of the good things and none of the bad!”

“If I want to look at someone’s ass, I will look at it and assess it!” Chanyeol says, gesturing in front of himself as if there is a giant array of asses before him to give credit to his statement. “I’m not going to care if it’s in plastic or cotton or wool or has giant smiley faces painted on it! I will just be looking at that ass and saying either ‘wow! That’s a great ass!’ or ‘Maybe not tonight, sweetheart!’ What does clothing have to do with anything?” 

“How are you dating my CEO again?” Jongin asks, aghast as he looks at Chanyeol. “Honestly, your fashion incompetent.”

“No,” Chanyeol says, rolling his eyes. “I’m just not fashion obsessed like you. I happen to like being comfortable in the clothing I put on my body and not putting enough product in my hair to classify it as highly volatile explosives.” He grins at Jongin’s scowling face. 

“I give you guys a month before he ditches you,” Jongin grumbles. “No one that obsessive over appearance could tolerate you for more than a month.”

Chanyeol kicks him, grinning widely regardless of the verbal abuse. “Stop grumbling. You may be jealous of how wonderful my love life is, but that doesn’t mean you have to go being a dick about it. Plus,” he laughs slightly. “Kris could afford to loosen up a bit. I’m good for him.”

“You’re mentally unstable,” Jongin says and Chanyeol laughs raucously. Jongin’s phone rings and he pulls it out, glancing at Sehun’s number briefly before flipping open the device. “Yo, what’s-“

“DON'T PANIC I’M SORRY!” Sehun hollers at him over the phone, causing Jongin to jerk his head away as his ear throbs, hearing Sehun slam his phone closed even from the distance. 

“What the f-“ Jongin starts to say, staring at his phone, before the door bursting open interrupts him. He and Chanyeol both jerk towards the now open door and the man who is breathing heavily though his nose as he looks into the room with intense dark eyes. They all stare at each other for about three seconds, none moving and feeling varying degrees of surprise and panic and determination. 

Jongin realizes he doesn’t need an explanation for Sehun’s abrupt and very random phone call. It’s standing right in front of him.

“I need to talk to you,” Yixing says, eyes boring into Jongin’s as he stays frozen, hand still gripping the door knob tightly as he leans into the room in mid-burst. He presses his lips together. “Please,” he adds and Jongin swallows. 

Jongin turns to Chanyeol who is looking at Yixing with a bemused expression. He turns to look at Jongin. “I’m guessing this is kinda important,” he says, and his low voice is carrying far too much amusement. He grins at Jongin and claps a hand on his shoulder a few times. “Take the rest of the day off, pleather plastic pants.”

Jongin hates him. A lot. 

Turning back to Yixing, Jongin stands up and walks over to the door, grabbing his bag from the desk and slinging it over his shoulder. Yixing watches him, eyes sharp as he approaches. Jongin looks up at the older, eyes meeting strong dark pools and he feels his stomach clench. “Hi,” he says lamely. 

Yixing doesn't say anything, just lets go of the doorknob and grabs his arm instead, dragging him from the room and into the hall, not bothering to close the door as he pulls Jongin down the hall. “C’mon,” is all Yixing says and Jongin doesn’t know what to think or feel or do, so he stumbles over his feet and follows.

Then words are spilling from his mouth and he can't stop them. “I’m sorry!” Jongin blurts out and Yixing pauses, hand stretched towards the elevator button in preparation to summon the transportation device. He turns slowly and looks at Jongin. 

“Why are you sorry, Jongin?” he asks and his voice is crushingly level. 

Jongin licks dry lips. “I’m sorry for being in love with you and for telling you in perhaps the most inappropriate way and for kissing you and running away.”

Yixing looks at him steadily and pushes the ‘down’ button on the elevator panel. The button flashes green against his finger. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Jongin says, and then shakes himself. “No.” He sighs. “I don’t know, I just know that I messed up somewhere and I want to make things right and that we can be okay.” He bites his lip, cutting himself off before he can ramble any more. “Are we okay?” he asks as the elevator dings. 

Yixing is staring at him hard, hand still closed firmly over his wrist as he pulls Jongin into the elevator just after the doors have opened. Jongin stumbles as he follows, feeling his breath catch as he waits for Yixing to say something. “No,” Yixing finally says, the doors to the elevator closing. “We’re not okay.”

Jongin feels everything fall out of him and his ribcage collapsing. “So, I really messed up,” he says, voice raw and catching on his throat.

“Yes,” Yixing says, eyes intense as they look at him. “You did.”

Jongin feels his throat burning, his eyes burning, his everything burning and he wishes that they weren’t in a fucking elevator because then he could walk away and go curl up and cry somewhere. “I-“ his voice breaks. “I’m-“

“You’re what?” Yixing says, voice sharp. “Sorry? You’re sorry for loving me? For kissing me? For what. Jongin? What are you sorry for?”

“I don’t know!” Jongin practically yells, throwing his arms out as his vision blurs. “Everything? Nothing? I don’t know but I clearly just need to apologize because I’ve fucked everything up!” He shuts his eyes tightly and breathes. In. Out. “I’m just sorry!”

“Well, I’m not!” Yixing yells and suddenly he’s grabbing Jongin by the upper arms and shoving him against the wall of the elevator with surprising force. “I’m not sorry you love me. I’m not sorry you kissed me. I’m not sorry for everything and nothing because did you ever consider for maybe just one second that you’re not the only one who feels, Jongin?”

Jongin is staring wide eyed at Yixing as the other man breathes against his face, eyes strong and holding no barriers as they look into Jongin’s and he feels his heart skip. Yixing’s eyes, usually so blank and hidden of emotion, are screaming at him things he already knows. Things that make his flesh burn and want, things that have his heart pounding in his chest and his breathing hitching in his throat. 

“You really are an idiot,” Yixing says, his voice rough and sending shivers down Jongin’s spine and then he’s closed whatever space is between them as his mouth presses, hot and insistent, again Jongin’s and Jongin is extremely glad that Yixing is still holding him firmly against the wall, because he’s pretty sure his legs just gave out. 

Eyes falling shut almost immediately, Jongin presses back with as much intensity as he can, his mouth opening automatically against Yixing’s as the other’s lips move over his own. His hands rise on their own accord and wrap around the other, fingers digging into soft hair and fabric as he pulls Yixing closer against him. It’s hot and he can’t breathe but he doesn’t want to if it means pulling away. 

Their kiss is a clash of everything, teeth, tongues, gasping mouths and moans and emotions that seem to fly everywhere and wrap around them, pulling them together with gripping hands and insistent fingers. Yixing lets go of Jongin’s arms as he presses flush against the younger, his arms instead finding purchase elsewhere. Mainly, around his waist, fumbling at his hips and lower abdomen, sliding over fabric and scraping against expose skin that burns. 

Yixing pulls back for a second, eyes cracking open and clouded with darkness as his breath puffs against Jongin’s, mingling in the heating space between them. “I never want to hear you apologize for anything again,” Yixing breathes out, voice faint as his chest heaves for air before he’s leaning in again and capturing Jongin’s mouth in a wild kiss, his hands gliding skillfully to the hem of Jongin’s shirt and skittering under, flying over tan skin and causing shivers to wrack the younger’s frame. 

Jongin will never admit to the high moan that comes out of his throat and is swallowed by Yixing. Nor will he admit to how he sagged, boneless, against the elevator walls as Yixing shoved a leg between his own to keep him standing as he plundered his mouth.

“You,” Yixing says, voice breathy as he kisses along Jongin’s jaw. “Need better observational skills.” He drags his fingernails down Jongin’s spine for emphasis and Jongin lets out gasping breaths. 

“You,” Jongin pants into Yixing’s ear before leaning his head to the side, gulping air as Yixing’s mouth closes around his neck and teeth sink into him, sending jolts down his spine. “Need to stop speaking in cryptic messages.”

A breathy laugh passes over the skin of Jongin’s neck as Yixing draws back, looking into Jongin’s eyes as the other breathes heavily. “I’m pretty sure I made plenty of references to having you in various sexual positions with me,” he says, and the words have heat flaring in the pit of Jongin’s stomach. 

Jongin drags the hand fisted in the back of Yixing’s shirt down until it’s gripping the fabric near the small of his back. “I never knew you were serious. You kept smiling with that stupid dimple all the time,” he pants, eyes flashing to the cheek that houses that devious little mark. 

“Like I said,” Yixing purrs, leaning in closer and eyes falling shut as his hands slip lower on Jongin’s waist, causing his breath to catch. “You’re an idiot.” And Jongin moans as their mouths connect again, feeling drunk on this feeling, on Yixing and his mouth, his hands, his body pressed against his own, his soft words and his smile and the way he moves to music. 

Fumbling, Jongin’s fingers scratch to get under the hem of Yixing’s shirt, pushing up the fabric and splaying against hot skin that burns against his fingertips. Yixing moans, low and deep into Jongin’s mouth, one of his hands drifting forward, and yanking his shirt up as it explores his chest, leaving a shivering trail as it passes over skin and lungs gasping for air. The other hand goes the opposite direction, snaking down and ghosting past the hem of Jongin’s jeans as it finally finds purchase near the base of his spine, gripping firmly as Jongin is pulled hard against Yixing. 

Jongin lets out a startled gasp and feels like all of the air is too hot, too heavy for him to breathe but he does anyway, breaking from Yixing’s mouth as the older man rocks against him, thigh pressed with definite purpose between his legs and Jongin can barely breathe from all of the sensations thrumming through his body. 

The elevator dings. 

The door opens.

Kyungsoo drops his papers and his coffee and his pens everywhere as his eyes widen to the side of moons. Yixing and Jongin freeze, both turning and looking sharply at the extremely startled man that has just interrupted them. 

Kyungsoo swallows. “So,” he says, voice extremely strained and cracking as his eyes slide over to Jongin. “I see I was right then.”

-

“You make me ill,” Baekhyun says, giving Jongin a very patronizing look as the tan man grins, grabbing his drinks from the counter.

“You love me,” Jongin says, smirking. 

“The reasons still escape me as to why,” Baekhyun says, fussing with the steamed milk pitcher as he watches the younger man over the bar of his café. “I still can’t believe you practically had sex in an elevator.”

“We didn’t have sex in an elevator,” Jongin says, rolling his eyes and letting his hip jut out in exasperation. “We just, you know, made out and stuff.”

“If that was making out, I never want to ever hear about you and bedrooms,” Kyungsoo says, hunched over the counter and looking exhausted. He looks up at Baekhyun. “We need to get laid.”

Baekhyun nods. “Know any single hot guys?”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Think for a second who you are talking to.”

Baekhyun purses his lips. “Good point.”

“I work for a modeling agency,” Jongin says, smiling coyly at the other two as their faces fall in exasperation. 

“I refuse to date someone more in love with themselves than me,” Kyungsoo says firmly and Baekhyun gestures at him wildly with the pitcher. 

“See! This is why we are friends!” the barista café owner proclaims loudly.

“It’s also why you’re still single,” Jongin says, smirking as Baekhyun glowers at him and Kyungsoo shoots him an extremely dark look. “What? It is!”

“Go back to your boyfriend before I grind you into espresso,” Baekhyun says testily and his hand tightens on the milk pitcher. Jongin grins and turns from the bar, walking over to where he and Yixing had set up their fort earlier. _“And no third base progression in my cafe!"_ Baekhyun hollers after him, making him snigger.

“You look like you’re having fun,” Yixing says as Jongin crawls in beside him among blankets and pillows and all things adorable and comfy. “What have you been up to?”

“Oh, you know,” Jongin says, handing Yixing his green tea latte before rearranging himself among the pillows. “Just making Baekhyunnie and Kyungsoo jealous of me.”

“And why, on earth, would they be jealous of you?” Yixing asks, smiling as he leans over Jongin, eyes sparkling and dimple smiling at him mischievously. 

Jongin leans back into pillows, setting his cocoa to the side so his fingers are free to dance along the exposed line of Yixing’s collarbones. “I dunno,” he says, smiling up at the other. “Maybe because I have an amazing boyfriend who thinks I’m hot shit.”

“You’re not hot shit,” Yixing says, chuckling as he places his latte next to Jongin’s cocoa. “You’re a brat who thinks they’re hot shit.” He lets his hand fall to rest next to Jongin’s face, fingers gently brushing against his jaw and sending flutters through Jongin’s ribs.

Jongin pouts. “Well if I’m not hot shit, then what am I?” he asks, leaning into Yixing’s touch slightly as he juts out his lower lip. 

Yixing grins at him as he leans down and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. “Purpose,” he says against Jongin’s skin and Jongin’s eyes widen, his breath catching as he looks up at Yixing. 

“I’m what?” Jongin breathes, not believing the word that left his skin prickling.

“You’re my purpose,” Yixing says quietly, leaning down again and brushing his lips against Jongin’s check and then the corner of his mouth. “Why else would I remember so many things about you when I can’t even remember shoes in the morning?” He kisses Jongin’s lips gently and the other lets his eyes flutter shut at the warmth wrapping in his heart. 

“Does that mean I’m hot shit then?” Jongin asks, grinning playfully up at Yixing and the other man laughs lightly. 

“Yeah,” Yixing says, dropping down to lie on top of Jongin, his arms wrapping around him as the two settle into each other’s warmth and embrace, faces resting just a breath apart. “You’re hot shit.”

Jongin kisses him, smile curving his mouth as he presses close and lets his arms wrap around Yixing’s torso, pulling them closer together as his chest hums in happiness. 

Yixing pulls back slightly, half closed eyes winking playfully as they look into Jongin’s. “Now, what’s this about no third base in cafes and can we please break that rule?”

Jongin lets out a laugh that is nothing but happiness and light and love as Yixing snuggles him vigorously into a giant pile of pillows.

~


End file.
